CT shares that he scores 33% each on quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation, then describes a personal exercise he did to figure out which one actually matters most to him — concluding that quality time is number one, to the point where sitting silently watching paint dry would leave him deeply fulfilled.
04:49CT KauppSo we all have
04:49CT Kauppa primary and most of us
04:51CT Kauppwill have a secondary type of love language. And there's a free quiz you can take online, so feel free to do that. What I would share with you is that I was 33, 33, 33%, literally down, you know, right down the middle on quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. So I knew that going in and I've, I've taken the test multiple times and I literally get the same thing, which, which resonates with what I said before, right, that I'm not a gift giver, I'm not a access service kind of guy. I was confused as I read the book because I'm like, well, they always talk about primary, secondary, but what if you, what if you're three?
05:27CT KauppWhat if you're 33% across the board on, you know, three different, love language? Like I kind of did like an exercise in my own head, and I want to share this with you because
05:35CT KauppI think this is really powerful. We lay out words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. I just lay it on a sheet of paper, And I say, you know, what is more important this or that? What I would tell you is if I have physical touch, but there's no words
05:57CT Kauppof affirmation or no quality time or, or a
05:59CT Kaupplot less of it than would be fulfilling, then that physical touch, whatever that manifest is, that is that is
06:08CT Kauppthat doesn't that doesn't fill my cup
06:10CT Kauppat all. If I get words
06:12CT Kauppof affirmation, but don't give physical touch or quality time, then that feels very transactional. That just
06:21CT Kauppfeels like you're so you're saying nice things without
06:24CT Kauppany substance behind it. So it it again, yeah,
06:28CT Kauppit just feels transactional, kind of feels fake, and so because
06:32CT Kauppof that then I understand that quality time is number one. So literally we can be on the couch saying nothing to each other, doing nothing, literally just sitting there, we can be watching paint dry
06:44CT Kauppand I will be deeply fulfilled by that connection. Let me say it again, we can be watching freaking paint dry and I am fulfilled by that connection.
06:57CT KauppSo that that right there just shows you how the depth at which I desire quality time, like that is number one, that above all else I would say it's, it's quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Those are like, if I had to rank them three from, from myself, one, two, three, that that's how they would be.
07:16CT KauppThat's all I got for you today. I appreciate you being here. Wherever you
07:19CT Kauppmay be listening from, I have a quick favor to ask if this episode was helpful or insightful, gave you new perspectives. If you wouldn't mind leaving a five star review wherever you listen, greatly appreciate that. Helps to expand the reach of the podcast. I'll see you next time. Take care.
