Transcript: Saying Goodbye to My Before Clothes
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Ashley introduces the episode and describes being surprised by the sadness she felt getting rid of her before clothes, even though she's glad they no longer fit.
Who knew I would have a hard time saying goodbye
to clothes? What's up my movers and shakers?
Famous Ashley Grant here. Welcome to My Movement
Please, the podcast where I hope to inspire you
to move your body more. Today I want to talk
about saying goodbye to my before clothes. And
the funny thing is, this is something that made
me a little more emotional than I expected. And...
You would think it would have been all happy
thoughts and all happy feelings. But the truth
was, for some of it, I actually got kind of sad
and I was taken aback by it. And so I wanted
to talk about it and share kind of how I felt
and what I was thinking. So I'm the type of person
who I hate shopping for clothes. I used to get
a kick out of it, but... For some reason, as
I got older, I just, I didn't enjoy shopping
for clothes. And it was very rare that I would
find shirts and pants or dresses or anything
that I liked. And maybe that's why letting go
of some of it made me emotional. Because even
though I was so thrilled, I didn't fit into them
anymore. I guess it represented a chapter of
actually finding something that I did feel was
flattering at the time. And so I kind of got
emotional letting it go. And that's not to say
that I want to fit into them again, because obviously
I don't. But it's interesting how you get attached
to items that you wouldn't expect to get attached
Ashley reflects on clothes she never wore because she was embarrassed they fit, the 'fat tax' on larger sizes, and defaulting to baggy clothes while working from home.
to. Like how a shirt can represent a moment in
time, or... a reason you bought it. And so, yeah,
I, though I'm grateful that certain things don't
fit anymore, it's weird to kind of let go of
those clothes because they represented a portion
of me and, and I guess feeling the change in
my identity as the no longer that level of fat
person. It's a weird thing to get used to. It's
a weird thing to not reach for the XXXL pants
or the, you know, larger tops. Like, when I'm
shopping now, I'm looking for different sizes,
and sometimes I have to remind myself, like,
hey, you're not as big as you were. And getting
emotional over those things sometimes surprises
me, even now. And I don't know, maybe you can
relate. Maybe you're like me and you don't want
to let go of certain things because they were
items that did make you feel good at the time.
But you do have to recognize that they're too
big now. And it's a great problem to have. I'm
not going to deny that. But another thing that
made me emotional on some of the items that I
got rid of was items that I never wore or items
that I didn't wear enough and recognizing that
one of the reasons that I didn't wear those clothes
is because even though I bought them because
they fit I was embarrassed that I bought them
because they fit and I actually didn't like them
have you ever done that where you're like well
I'll buy this top because it fits and then you
never want to put it on because Well, though
it fits, it's not flattering. Anybody else out
there ever done that? Because I certainly have.
And I know that some of the things I purchased
would... Like, I don't know why I made some of
the purchases I made, other than, well, I thought
I had to buy certain clothes because I was overweight.
And I never was good at the... well, let's just
take time to find out what at least flatters
your body at the size it is at the time. I just
kind of did the best I could with what I had.
Definitely took, hand -me -down, definitely looked
for clearance items because, let's face it, bigger
clothes sometimes have a higher price tag. I've
heard gym gurus refer to this as the fat tax,
where you're charged extra money because, yeah,
it takes extra fabric to make larger clothes.
So yeah, there were some outfits that I purchased
whenever I was at my biggest that I never really
wanted to wear, mainly because I was bothered
that I had to wear the big clothes. So I caught
Ashley talks about still not knowing what flatters her body now, fearing that buying too many clothes at her current size might feel like giving herself permission to stop losing weight, and being shocked by how large her old clothes are.
myself constantly just wearing baggy pants and
shirts because I guess I felt like, well, that's
good enough. At least I'm clothed. And I guess
I'm one of those lucky people that since I work
from home, it didn't really matter what I was
wearing most of the time. I'm catching myself
now as a smaller person, still struggling with
what to wear. And even when I'm shopping now
for smaller clothes, I struggle with it. And
I struggle with feeling like, okay, what's flattering
on my body now? And I'm still trying to lose
weight and still trying to get slimmer. And so
I'm not wanting to spend too much money because
I still intend on shrinking. And I guess there's
part of me that fears if I do purchase clothes,
too many clothes at the size I am now, that I'm
almost giving myself permission to stop my progress.
I don't know if that makes sense, but it's something
I'm dealing with. And so I just wanted to kind
of talk about it and tell whoever's listening
to this that if you're in the same boat as I
am, you're not alone. Maybe there are clothes
that you purchased that you were thrilled about
and now they don't fit and you're devastated
to see them leave your closet. Or maybe there's
clothes that you bought that you only bought
because they fit and you never wanted to wear
them and you're mourning the loss of the money
that you spent. Or maybe you're thrilled because,
I mean, for the most part, most of the clothes
I'm getting rid of, I'm thrilled I'm getting
rid of because I can't. believe that I let myself
get as large as I did and I guess that was one
of the biggest shockers was as I was getting
rid of some of my clothes seeing just how big
I let myself get. Even though I was seeing myself
in the mirror every day it wasn't quite dawning
on me just how big I was getting and even though
I see myself in the mirror every day now it's
hard to remember that I am smaller so I still
sometimes get shocked whenever I'm trying on
clothes And I have to reach for a smaller size.
So that's just kind of what I wanted to talk
about today. And I do look forward to continuing
to look for smaller clothes. And hopefully I
can get over the loss of the nice clothes that
I had that were for a bigger person. Onwards
and upwards, my friends. Have you worked out
today?