Partnership in Action (A Real-World Story)

CT KauppWelcome back or welcome to, the Securely You podcast. My name is CT, and I hope you understand why you love the way you do. In today's episode, I want to talk through a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine. He recently got into a new relationship and is showing him how good it can be and how good it should be and how we seem to settle for less than what we need or what we deserve. And that's not the, the type of relationships that I desire or that I talk about, but I hope that you, can see in a better light and can make, better, decisions with better clarity on what, what you need and what you desire and how you want to be met inside of a relationship.

CT KauppBut I just thought this was interesting, because I had him text me some different aspects to it. I just want to talk it through here in real time. So first is that communication is solid multiple times a day there's text or calls. And so that's, that's showing priority. If they're not communicating consistently with you, then you're simply not a priority thousand percent.

CT KauppLike I always talk about it's it has to be mutual. It can't be somebody putting in 80% and the other one's put in 20 or ninety, ten or whatever that split is. It doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't need to be fifty, fifty, but it needs to be at a place where both people feel appreciated and both people feel prioritized within that connection. And to me, that's regardless, I don't care if, like where in that dating spectrum, if it's you're this far along or that far along, how long you've known each other, just like to be able to show each other that you can like, to me, that shows care that shows that, that you are investing in them, that you're making them a priority.

CT KauppThat's not saying that you're supposed to get married to them tomorrow, or it needs to be this pressure. I think that's like something that I, I don't know if it's a societal thing or social media thing, but sort of this, this idea, this idea of pressure and where now, like connections can't even really start because the person that isn't putting in the same best investment then ends up feeling pressured by, by the other one. And so like, that's just, that to me is the imbalance. It's just like a straight imbalance of like, well, then no connection's ever gonna grow from that because you're not meeting each other where you need to be met. Next thing he said was prioritizing meeting up dates, spending time together, sprinkled throughout the week or the weekends.

CT KauppIt's not some ad hoc, like, we'll just kind of wishy washy. Like there is intent behind it and you both want to see each other doesn't mean every day, but that you're, you're continuously kind of carrying that thread through regardless of whatever's going on in your life. I mean, seriously, at the end of the day, we're all freaking busy. Right? We all have a full calendar, but you're going to make time for what is important to you.

CT KauppNext. He said, there should be no doubt in the spark between both people physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, intellectually. I can go on, but yes, all of that, all of those kinds of chemistry, signals like that should be effortless and that should be mutual. Both people should be feeling that and both people should not be questioning that. So it should never feel like one person has to force that or create that.

CT KauppTo me, you can't really manipulate that. I mean, you can try to, but like, it's not going to feel right. It's not going to feel organic. It's not going to feel natural. If, if you do.

CT KauppAnd so both people coming in there, with that natural desire for each other. And of course he had to say it's a hell yes or hell no. I would just say it's a hell yes or no. If, if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no. So if it's a maybe it's a no, if it's a kinda it's a no, if it's a I'm busy, it's a no hell yes or no.

CT KauppThose are just a couple aspects that he had shared with me. And then I wanted to share with you guys as well. Just to talk through some of those aspects from, like, a real world situation. So I guess in summary, what I would say is that if you are desiring a connection with another human being, that one that is mutual, that both people are coming at it with the same intention, that is what is gonna feel most fulfilling and rewarding while simultaneously, it's going to show you that all of the past people that you were with or the people that that that didn't see your light, didn't appreciate this or that, that that you brought to the table, all that is gonna fall away. That person is going to see here and value.

CT KauppAnd I'll also say respect you, be interested in you, be drawn to you for all of those reasons that somebody else didn't. You just haven't met the one sees those things as positives and sees you as somebody that you're like, how the heck did all those people let you go? Cause like, I, I feel like I hit the lottery. You feel you hit like, like you hit the lottery and both, both people feel that way. I mean, that that's what it should be.

CT KauppThat's what it's about. It's not, let's just stay in this relationship cause it's comfortable or safe or like, I'm just never gonna be able to find somebody else. So I'm just gonna stay here. Like, no, no, no. Like you have the ability to, to be able to create that deep partnership with somebody else.

CT KauppAnd I would just urge you to, to not, give up on that, to not feel that you're not enough or that you don't deserve that because you do. And relationships like, what my friend is experiencing and that kind of connection, that is what we should all strive for. That's what is available to us when, when both people are coming at it with, mutual intent and desire. All right. That's all I got for you today.

CT KauppHopefully that was helpful. Insightful. Thank you for being here. If you wouldn't mind leaving a five star review, wherever you listen to your podcast really helps to spend the reach of this pod. Thank you very much.

CT KauppHave a good rest of your day and take care.