Episode 78Jun 19, 2026· 7:43

Working Out for You: Why Choosing Yourself Is the Secret to Showing Up

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About this episode

Ashley Grant discusses internal versus external motivation for fitness, drawing on her personal history of dieting with shots and pills driven by others' opinions, starting Zumba in 2023 out of unnamed fear, and the shift that happened when she decided to work out for herself rather than for a spouse, children, or social approval. She references James Altucher's book Choose Yourself as a framework that influenced…

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Who this episode is for

This episode may resonate with you if:

You've started a fitness routine before and it fizzled out — and somewhere in the back of your mind you know you were doing it for someone else's approval, not your own.

You're going through the motions — showing up to classes, technically exercising — but you feel disconnected from it, like you're doing it out of obligation or fear rather than any real desire.

You've noticed your body quietly limiting you — avoiding stairs, circling for the closest parking spot, asking for help with small things — and it's starting to bother you.

You're tired of resenting the people you told yourself you were doing this for — your partner, your kids — and wondering if there's a version of this that actually feels like it's yours.

You're at a point where you can picture two versions of your future self — one who got stronger, one who didn't — and the gap between them is starting to feel urgent.

Questions this episode wrestles with

Can doing it for your family actually sustain a fitness habit long-term?

answered

Ashley's experience is that doing it for others leads to resentment — she knows because she lived it, working out to satisfy other people's opinions about her body rather than for her own health or strength.

"The problem with that line of thinking is at some point, you're going to resent it. And ask"

Is it wrong to use external pressure as motivation to work out?

answered

Ashley doesn't call it wrong, but shares that for her it didn't work — she was doing it because other people told her she was overweight and needed a certain body type, and that motivation wasn't enough to make it stick.

"I was doing it because other people were telling me that I was overweight. I was doing it because other people told me that there was a certain size or body type that I needed to have. I was doing it because I wanted to make other people think I looked good, rather than doing it for my own self -confidence, my own strength, my"

Is it possible to exercise consistently and still not be doing it for yourself?

answered

Ashley describes walking into Zumba out of fear and going through the motions — technically showing up, but barely working out three hours a week and not really pushing herself because her reasons were still outside of herself.

"going through the motions, doing what I thought was the best I could, and I was barely working"

Does intrinsic motivation just show up eventually, or do you have to choose it?

answered

For Ashley it was a deliberate decision — she frames it as a moment of choosing herself, after which everything became crystal clear and the competition shifted from people around her to her past self.

"into high gear was when I made the decision to choose myself and do it for myself. That was when everything really kind of became crystal"

Can you force yourself to want to work out for the right reasons?

open question

Ashley doesn't explain what triggered her shift or how to manufacture it — she describes thinking about future Ashley and the struggles she'd face if she didn't work out now, but leaves open how someone else might arrive at that same place.

"self. When I needed to get motivated and excited about working out, I was thinking about future Ashley and all the struggles that she would endure if she didn't work out now. And it was also me"

Setting expectations: This episode is not a workout plan, a breakdown of fitness science, or advice on how to stay motivated using external accountability systems. It's Ashley reflecting on her own history of working out for other people's approval — including a stint with diet shots and pills — and the personal shift that happened when she finally started doing it for herself.

Tone & style

Ashley starts from the belief that external motivation — a spouse, kids, others' opinions of your body — can drive a fitness journey, then walks through two collapses: shots-and-pills dieting done for others' approval, and a 2023 Zumba start driven by unnamed fear that kept her barely moving three hours a week. The turning point was deciding to 'choose herself,' reframing the competition as against her past self. She ends resolved and proud — no longer hunting for close parking spots, no longer avoiding stairs, no longer asking for help with groceries.

Personal lived experience and opinion. Ashley explicitly hedges generalizations to her own case — 'at least for me, that's when I finally got serious.'

toneCandid & personal

focusAshley traces two failed attempts at fitness driven by external pressure and fear, and the shift that happened when she finally decided to do it for herself.

stylesolo_monologue

energymedium

complexitybeginner

pressure Levellow

emotional Texturehonest, proud, gently vulnerable

Notable quotes

"think I looked good, rather than doing it for my own self -confidence, my own strength, my"

— Famous Ashley Grant

"I walked into that first Zumba class, I was doing it out of fear. And it was fear of some circumstances in my life that I won't get into. And one day I really hope that I'll have the courage to talk"

— Famous Ashley Grant

"When I decided to do it for me, the competition was no longer anyone around me. It was my past"

— Famous Ashley Grant

"always trying to find the spot as close as humanly possible to the door because I knew that if it took me too long to get to the door That I was just going to be tired. I was the girl who constantly"

— Famous Ashley Grant

Episode transcript

Organized into 5 chapters — open any part to read the full text.

0:001. Intro and the Idea of Choosing YourselfAshley introduces the episode and connects the concept of 'choosing yourself' — drawn from James Altucher's book — to her approach to fitness and self-improvement.0:442. Why Doing It for Others Eventually FailsAshley describes how the early excitement of a fitness journey fades, and how doing it for external reasons — a spouse, children, or others' opinions — leads to resentment, drawing on her own experience with dieting via shots and pills.2:363. Starting in 2023 Out of Fear, Not for HerselfAshley reflects on walking into her first Zumba class in 2023 driven by fear of unnamed circumstances, and how that mindset kept her going through the motions at barely three hours of exercise a week.3:314. When She Finally Chose HerselfAshley describes the shift that happened when she decided to work out for herself — competing only with her past self, thinking about future Ashley's struggles, and proving she could do more than she thought.5:305. Picturing Your Future Self and ClosingAshley shares concrete examples of physical limitations she used to have — hunting for close parking spots, avoiding stairs, asking for help with groceries — and encourages listeners to picture their future selves and make a change for their own sake.

Open full transcript

Mentioned in this episode

bookChoose Yourself

Book by James Altucher that Ashley credits with influencing her career and her philosophy of doing things for herself rather than for others.

personJames Altucher

Author of 'Choose Yourself,' cited by Ashley as a meaningful influence on her personal and professional decisions.

websitefamousashleygrant.com/fitness

Ashley's website where she invites listeners to share their fitness journey updates with her.

Key themes

Doing it for yourself vs. for others

Ashley argues that working out to satisfy other people's opinions or to serve a spouse or children eventually leads to resentment, and that the shift to doing it purely for herself was what made her consistent.

External pressure as the original trigger

Ashley recounts starting her first fitness attempt because other people told her she was overweight and that she needed a certain body type, not out of any desire of her own.

Fear as a motivator that doesn't push you

Ashley describes walking into her first Zumba class in 2023 driven by fear of unnamed circumstances, which kept her going through the motions at barely three hours of exercise a week rather than actually pushing herself.

Competing with your past self

Once Ashley decided to work out for herself, she stopped measuring herself against people around her and started competing only with who she used to be.

Thinking about future Ashley

Ashley describes using the image of her future self — and the struggles that future self would face if she didn't work out now — as the fuel that keeps her going through hard reps.

Concrete physical limitations she used to have

Ashley lists specific things she couldn't do before — hunting for the closest parking spot, avoiding stairs, asking for help with even small grocery bags — as the tangible stakes behind her motivation.

Unsustainable and expensive early dieting

Ashley briefly references a past attempt at weight loss using shots and pills, which she describes as both unsustainable and very expensive, separate from the motivational problem.

Proving to yourself you can do more than you thought

Ashley frames her internal motivation partly as a mission to prove to herself — not anyone else — that she was capable of more than she had believed.

The James Altucher 'Choose Yourself' influence

Ashley connects her fitness philosophy to James Altucher's book Choose Yourself, which she says shaped how she approached decisions for herself rather than for others across her career and personal life.