Transcript: Watching Her Mom Become a Prisoner in Her Own Body | Why Rhonda Will Never Stop Moving (Part 2)

What's up, you guys? Famous Ashley Grant here, and welcome to More Movement, Please. Welcome back to part two of my three -part series interviewing my amazing fitness instructor, Rhonda Goode. In the previous episode, we talked about how Rhonda broke the generational curse of diabetes and obesity in her family, losing 120 pounds and completely transforming her life. But there's a reason she was so driven to make those changes, and today we're going to hear about it. I'm going to be honest with you. This episode, it gets vulnerable. like really vulnerable. We're talking about what it was like for Rhonda to watch her mother spend those last two years of her life housebound. She was unable to walk from her chair to the car and what those final moments look like. It's heavy stuff. And I want you to listen to it anyway, because it's the why behind everything that Rhonda does. We're also going to hear about

how she went from working out for herself to becoming a fitness instructor, how she built her fitness tribe that shows up no matter what. and her surprisingly practical advice about holiday eating. And spoiler alert, it's okay to gain a few pounds at Thanksgiving, but you got to get them off. So this is part two of our series, and I got to warn you, it might make you emotional. It definitely made me emotional, and it made me think about my own family dynamics. So I want you to grab some water, maybe a tissue or two, and let's jump right back in to my interview with Rhonda Good. Now, this one's kind of a vulnerable one, and if you don't want to answer it, if it's too personal, just tell me again. I don't want to answer it. But in February 2025, this year, just weeks after your mother had passed, you wrote, her retirement years were plagued with nothing but sickness and disease. It didn't have

to be this way. My biggest fear is her last year, and I'll do everything I can to avoid it the right way. How did watching your mother's health journey shape not just your fitness goals, but your entire philosophy about aging and what you want your future to look like? Watching my mother, because my father passed, he was 69 when he passed. So it's been seven years. And then my mom's brother passed at 65. Wow. And so she lived longer than her family, including almost all of her cousins, which was astonishing to me because although they were all in equally bad health, She was, I would have considered her the weakest of all of them. And she lived the longest. So I didn't really realize how just how stubborn she was until probably the last year. And I mean, I guess that's what kept her here. I mean, she was really, really stubborn. And I know people, when they age, there's a lot of personality changes and

things like that. But she was extremely stubborn. And could not leave the house at all the last almost two years of her life. I mean, it was definitely a solid 18 months. It was really close to two years. So could no longer get up from a chair and walk to the car. So and the car was parked not in the garage, but right at the bottom of the steps. So she was in a small house, had to walk through. one small room and get down three or four steps, no matter which door she chose to get to the car and could not do that.

And could not go down the steps to get in my car and couldn't do it. So housebound, literally housebound. And then also got to the point where she could barely make it to the bathroom. So I had to start using a porta potty inside the house and And someone having to constantly clean that and clean her. And it was just... And at the end, I mean, bed sores, all the things that come with it from setting all the time. And so she had a lift chair that she ordered in the last year of her life because she could no longer physically get up. And she dislocated her shoulder trying to clean herself after going to the bathroom.

Oh, my God. And... It was really downhill from there, really downhill. But man, was it a long hill slide. It was long. I mean, and I kept thinking, how much physically worse can someone get? So when my mother would sit in her recliner, her stomach was so big that it would literally almost touch the floor. And because she'd been big for years and then had no stomach muscles at all, I mean, that's what happens. Because when you have no muscle tone, that's what happens. And so... Just sitting her slumped over again, drugs out of her mind between all of the meds she was on for all of the ailments she had. And then sometimes I would come in and bring her food.

And of course, I gave her whatever she wanted, whatever she asked for. That's what I got. Because at this point, there was who cares? I mean, and so whatever she wanted. And there was more than once that she was. Her sugar was so low, I couldn't even get her awake enough to eat. Oh, wow. I mean, she was completely, but yet not in any, I did call one time. I did call EMS one time because I couldn't even get her to come to herself enough to even acknowledge me there. Wow. And her sugar when they got there was like 54. But other times it was just a typical, like, she was just out of it. I mean, just sitting, prison in your own body. Wow. And you can't do anything.

I mean, her mind was I mean, her her mind was definitely affected at the end. Don't get me wrong. But, you know, prior to the last little bit, I'd say the last six months, you really declined mentally, too. But prior to that, I mean, it's just, you know, mentally, you're OK to be in that age range. I mean, you're OK. But yeah, just a prisoner in your body and a prisoner in your home where you can't do anything. You can't leave. You can't do anything. I mean, we all have days where we don't want to leave our house or we don't want to do whatever. But to not have the choice. Oh, no, I'm out. And so it kind of made you double down on fitness. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't even imagine. Yeah. I can't even like because I'm watching things with my own mom right now. And it's just it's hard. It's really hard. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. Because there's. Nothing that you can do. And like with her, I mean, the time, I mean, I remember when she was in the hospital for some ailment, probably three years before she died, maybe four, you know, she comes home and it's like, I want to try to do better, you know? So I'm showing her some exercises she can do in the chair. And, you know, if you'll just start trying to do this, lift your knee off the ground, lift your leg off the ground. Lift your arms above your head.

Try to walk from here to there. Get the walker and try to just walk from here to there. We're talking five steps and back. Okay, okay, I'll try, I'll try. And it would last for not even a week. And then at a certain point, there's nothing you can do except watch it. There's nothing you can do. And so, yeah, I mean, whatever she wanted. Her order of food of Christmas last year, because I told her when I left Christmas Eve, I said, OK, so Sonic opens at five on Christmas Day. So because, you know, most places are closed.

So send me what you want. It was five or six menu items. And at the end of the text, it said, I know this is a lot. But it's what I want. And she didn't want more than a bite or two of all of it, you know, each thing. But it was, you know, queso and chips and tater tots and a burger and a milkshake and whatever. I mean, it was just I mean, the order was like thirty seven dollars. And when I went to the drive through, I thought, you know, you just get whatever she wants. Because there was no arguing with her either. I mean, you just could not, you couldn't reason with her. And so, and there was nothing, there's nothing you can do. You just have to go along. And, you know, I used to think, I have no idea what will ever take her. Because I could not believe the condition that her physical body was in and that she was still breathing. Just could not believe it. And it's always some random, weird. most of the time thing, you know, and

what finally got her was a final UTI and an antibiotic that absolutely sent her out of her mind. Wow. That had to be so hard to watch. It was a rough week. Yeah. It was a rough week. Do you feel like it's changed you? Or that it's just made you, like I said, just double down on fitness? Um, no, it's changed me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to talk any more on that or do you want to move on? Move on. Okay, let's move on. Well, it sounds like a good time to talk about mental health. So mental health and movement. You had mentioned in 2020, in January 2020, that the endorphins from exercise have a larger effect on your mind than your body at first. You said feel better mentally, watch depression, anxiety, and lethargy. I can't even say that word. Minimize and then watch your body transform slowly. Let's talk about the mental health benefits you've experienced. How has moving been medicine for

your mind? I think for a lot of people, you know, I mean, especially now in today's world, I mean, everybody's diagnosed with something, which, and I'm not trying to minimize it, but it's literally everywhere. And I think most people know, especially if you're older than, say, 20, that smartphones and social media are where we're at mentally, period. Because no one interacts anymore with people. People don't know how to interact with people. They're not comfortable with it. They're kind of lost. And so most people are just lost.

And they're in these mental jails because they don't know how to do anything outside of the box that's in their hand. And they don't know how to communicate with people. They don't know how to relate to people. And they don't get out and do things for the most part. And if they do, they're still on their phone the whole time. And so at the gym, you don't, for the most part, see people on their phones. They're there to work out. It's a forced phone break. Now, I've got a couple that do, especially in spin class.

I still think it's weird because to me, it's like it's 30 minutes. Can you not give your mind a break for 30 minutes and just work out? I mean, whether you're thinking about nothing or bubbles in the air or whatever. I mean, even if your mind is blank, but just let it be blank. Yeah. So we're afraid of that. But I think that just working out in an environment with people that you can choose to interact with as much as you want or not, and then moving has such a huge effect. And it's the whole groupthink mentality that is both a positive and a negative, can be a very negative thing. But at the gym, groupthink is the best thing you can have because it'll be those people that... encourage you or ask you where you've been or all the things. And, you know, and there's some that are annoying about it. The attendance monitors. Yeah. I mean, there are, but, and, but those are the people that, you know, will make you accountable. And

so there's just something about being somewhere, working out everything that is happening in your life. And a lot of people, I mean, I tell people like, that's why med ball slams are so fun, but. It's like for most people, it's working out whatever you're feeling, whether that's anger, sadness, whatever it is. You typically can let go of it for that amount of time during a class, usually. I mean, and I have I mean, I've had days, especially during sicknesses of my mother. I mean, I've had days where I break down in class. It happens.

But, you know, I just keep going. I've had people break down in class. I mean, it happens. But most of the time, people can just focus on the current present where they're at. And that's a huge mental release for everyone. And then when people choose to not go to the gym, I mean, things happen. Life happens. Work happens. All that. It tends to be that when people stop going because of X, Y, Z, and then they don't go back or they take an extended break, you can watch their mental health and they will tell you that their mental health will suffer significantly.

Because at first it was, well, no, I couldn't go. And then I, oh, well, I'm not going. And then, oh. And so they'll find themselves back in the serious black hole that they started in. So, yeah, I can definitely relate to that. And part of the reason I chose group fitness is because I knew that I needed other people around me and I knew I needed other people to kick my ass if I didn't show up. Yeah. So, yeah, it's good stuff.

It's good for the mental health. It's good therapy. Yeah. Especially whenever you're really angry. No, it is. It is. Yeah. Yeah. And because murder is wrong. That's right. And those are the days you pick up heavier weights and stuff. So, yeah. And try not to get hurt. Yeah. Well, one thing that appears in a lot of the posts that were like earlier on, I haven't seen you post this much recently, but you said in 2018, God gives me the passion and energy to do what I do. He protects my body every day. Does faith still interact in your fitness journey? It does. I mean, I think that, you know, most people call me things like the legend and all this sort of thing because I've been working out at the pace I have for so many years. But, you know, everyone has. times in their life when it's just a job.

And that's for everyone, no matter what your job is. And this for me is definitely my passion because of my background. And I do believe that it's amazing that I haven't been injured, like seriously injured because of the pace that I go all the time. And it's as I tell people and you, you know, that it's not as if I'm just working out at the gym. I mean, I also walk the dog tour three times a day and then do all the other things.

So, you know, in that regard, I mean, I did hurt my knee one time and it was in 2018. And it, you know, I don't know exactly what I did. I mean, both of my knees hurt now, but that's beside the point. But I was in a break. I had to wear a knee brace and I probably wore it for maybe like a week at the gym. I still, of course, did all my classes and was like, yeah, you know, suffer through. And I went to church Sunday and I never asked for anyone to pray for me ever.

And I was like, I need y 'all to pray for this knee because it really hurts. And I don't know what's happened. And it's my job. And I was also like, it's my job. And if I don't go to work, I don't get paid. It's my job. So I was like, and so, and then at the same time, because this is just how life works. My father ended up in hospice that week. And so I was lying on the floor in his room with a heating pad wrapped around my knee with a brace on it and lying on the floor spending the night there, you know, and then getting up and going to teach class the next morning. You know, I was like, well, you just got to get through it. But I do believe that there is definitely. some protection and that like, he knows this is my purpose and he, he keeps me as safe as possible. And he also tells me when I'm doing stupid things and to back off a little bit. And I mean, I do, and you know, and I have to, I have to nurse things

now. And, um, you know, things that used to hurt, not very often hurt way more now, way more often. I mean, they do. And part of it is age and part of it is, well, teaching 25 hours of class for the last 15 years. Um, and doing them, you know, as we say, I do the classes, I don't just stand there. So, um, but yeah, I think there's definitely a little bit of a divine protection. I mean, I'm not stupid. I mean, I don't think that I have some magical power or anything like that, but, and I'm very cognizant of the fact that I just turned 50 and, um, that, you know, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pace I go. Yeah. I mean, physically, I don't know. Cause some days I'm like, yeah, cause there are some things that, I mean, I expect my shoulders to hurt and I expect my arms to hurt and I expect my hips to hurt. And I mean, you know, and I expect my knees to hurt. But then there are some

days where that knee is like, oh, and then there are some days my lower back is like, oof, and back scares me. I tell everybody backs scare me. So it's the one thing that, you know, and it's why I try to preach to people about how they're doing squats and how they're doing things because most of my folks are not young. So that's why you'll do the modifications. Yeah. So. But yeah, so. Well, do you think, do you see taking care of your body as a spiritual practice? Well, the Bible does tell you that the body is your temple, is the temple of God. So, you know, and there's a whole thing in the Bible about gluttony too. People get real mad about that. But, you know, if it is God's temple and it's, you've been given it to take care of. I mean, we're supposed to take care of ourselves spiritually, mentally, and physically is definitely a part of that. So I think that that's what we're supposed

to do. I mean, we're supposed to labor to eat. We're supposed to work and to do the things that we need to do to survive and thrive in this life. You're going to have to be physically fit to do it. This is true. And I have read that I pray more in your classes than anywhere else. God, don't let me die. God, don't let me cast out. God, don't let me throw up. Well, one thing that you've said a lot is I'm not for everyone. You've acknowledged this a lot. Finger style isn't for everyone. So you've even mentioned that some people are scared of you and that you chase people down after class. If you were to put it all in a bow, what would you say is your teaching style?

Like who thrives with you? Oh, definitely people that want to work hard and push their own limits. You know, because I tell people all the time, you can always do more than you think you can. And that's just for everyone. And, but when people are brand new, I also, you know, if I see them pick up 10 pound weights as they're, even they're bigs, I'm like, probably shouldn't do that. You know, I mean, if you want to argue and you want, okay, okay. But I'm going to tell you, you probably shouldn't do that when you're just starting out.

So, you know, but I mean, I had two brand new people in class last night. They seemed real happy. I mean, they're young, you know, and I'm like, that's why they're happy. You can't kill them. They're young. But I think people that want to work hard and again, people that want consistency are the ones that stay with me because they know I'm always going to be there and I'm going to do my best to make them work hard. So, yeah, those are definitely my people. Lazy people are not my people. And people that just want to check a box are not my people. Well, that's why you said the first year and a half I was working out with you, I wasn't actually working.

It didn't count. At least I got serious. Yeah. Yeah. So and who knew that when I finally started listening to you, the changes actually started? Who knew that was going to happen? Well, let's talk about success metrics. You said it's not class numbers anymore, but rather it's people getting stronger, getting off their meds, improving mental health and being able to do everything they need to do. Tell me about some of the success stories that have meant the most to you. Well, I mean, some of my folks like other people weren't there when they started, so they didn't see them.

So, you know, I've watched people take off 30, 40 pounds. And if you look at them right now, you would think. Well, gosh, they look kind of skinny or whatever in today's society. But for them, 30 or 40 pounds was big for their frame, for their body and for their knees. As you know, every pound of weight is three pounds pressure on your knees. So in watching them get stronger and start with small weights and grow into big weights for them, you know, go from fives to 15 pounds. I mean, we'll push that over their head. I mean. That's what is great because it's not about the fact that you can do that, but it's about the fact that when your body can do that and you're building muscle and you're stronger, you're just going to have a better future because you've got muscle tone. And watching my people that are definitely in their senior years and they're still doing yard work and all their grocery

shopping, they're not grocery delivering. Most of them. I mean, they're still doing the things that you have to do to live, you know. And when you're 80 years old or 70 years old and you can still do everything that needs to be done around your house, whether that's cleaning or the yard work or going to get your own groceries. I mean, getting up out of the chair. No problem. Those are the things that are important. And so. And then I've got several people that have, you know, gotten off blood pressure meds and off diabetic meds. And I mean, you can't ask for any better than that. That's, you know, I mean, yeah. Being able to tell a farmer to suck it. I mean, that's the best thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've said also that your tribe or fitness army shows up consistently. You've mentioned that you've got people that are doing two to three hours with you in a row, even after a 12 hour shift,

and that they choose you over the new pretty gym. What creates that level of loyalty and community? And what role does accountability play in sustainable fitness? Well, again, definitely because they know I'm going to be there. And for some of the folks that are working split shifts and switching shifts and all that sort of thing. They just know that I'm going to be there and they're going to feel better if they show up. And so they do show up no matter how tired they are, because again, they'll still usually feel better. And even if they're going home to sleep for the next shift, they'll come work out because they know that I'm going to be there. And, you know, I'll take requests. Sometimes I'll say, what do you want to work on or what do you want to do? And, you know, and somebody will say something. A lot of times nobody says anything, but I try to build things. and workouts really to hit everything.

So I try to always incorporate things that are going to hit the entire body. So if you're there, you're going to get everything you can possibly get in that time frame without having to be there for six hours or whatever the case may be, or use 20 different machines. Because a lot of people are just intimidated by equipment and machines and things like that. So I try to keep things simple. And also when my folks can't come, I mean, I have a few that can't come and they'll ask me to send them workouts. And so, you know, I'll send them workouts, but for them to do at home or a different kind of workout with like, based on the fact that they have bad knees or whatever the case is. So I think it's just that, and then the community there is no different than the community anywhere. I mean, so when they. spend time together of course they become interested in each other's lives and and it starts

an accountability thing because it's like well if you're always here and then you're not here for three days where are you something's wrong where are you you know that sort of thing and it's just a check -in i mean there's and we've had a lot of people through the years go through some really bad stuff i mean it's life i mean it you know and and so we try to be supportive and do what we can when bad things happen to people. Cause bad things do happen to people.

And so, you know, we try to build people up and do what we can to try to help support them and as best we can. And that's what people want. I mean, people want, people just want, it's not about belonging, but people just want a sense of commonality. We're all here for the same reason. We're all here for the same purpose because we're all going to get old. Yeah. And if we're going to get old and as you know, my mantra, for everyone is no matter what age you walk in the room, there's somebody in that room that's 15 years older than you or older than that. And you look at them and the shape they're in and you think about where you're at at 25 and you see that person at 40 or you're 40 and you see that person at 70. How do you want to live? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Marilyn knows I've shouted her out many times.

I'm chasing the 20 pound weight she is. Well, I mean, you know, and she's almost 72. Yeah. And old girl could catch her ass. I mean, and genetics play a role. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. But, I mean, they do. But a lot of it is you choosing your own future. A lot of it. Well, speaking of the future, we're coming into the holiday weight gain season. So what do you tell people during the holidays when they're surrounded by all this yummy food, breaking routines and the old, I'll start in January excuse? Well, a lot of people, a lot of my folks, once you stop being addicted to food, once you stop looking at food as a crutch for everything you're feeling, whether it's happy or sad or whatever, because, you know, people will tell you that they eat if they're happy, they eat if they're sad and whatever. They eat mindlessly. But once you kind of break that. The holidays aren't as big of a deal. Yeah. Because you no longer go into if

you're going to parties or all the work functions. And yes, people are dragging all this food in and whatever. But you just look at it differently because you no longer look at it like the cow at the trough. You look at it like I can have a bite of this. And what is your favorite thing? I mean, just because people bring in things, you know, don't eat it if you don't like it. And then if you take a bite of it and it's not fantastic, then you go sled behind the wall and throw it in the trash if you need to. But don't eat things that aren't delicious to you. I mean, if I take a bite of something chocolate. It happened recently. I won't. But it did. And I was like, oh, this was not nearly as good as it looked.

Oh, no. And I thought, oh, no, I'm not eating this. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to eat this. So, you know, most of the time at all of these parties and functions and things. There's very little things that you just love. I mean, because everybody kind of has their thing. So focus on what you really like. Have some of that, but don't take a bite of everything just because it's there. Yeah. I mean, you know, you don't have to eat it just because it's in front of you. And you don't have to eat it because Aunt Sue made it. Like, if you don't like Aunt Sue's dressing, then don't eat it. Just, you know, and if you need to come up with an excuse and say, well, I got to watch my weight, you know, whatever. Just don't feel a lot of people just do that stuff because they feel obligated to.

Yeah. It's like you don't have to, you know, partake in things that you don't like. Well, the funny thing with me is whenever I started all this, like it was my birthday and everybody was like, are you even allowed to eat cake? Would your instructor get mad at you? I'm like, what? It's like, so, you know, you still have to be reasonable. But if you have big families. I mean, gosh, when I first got married and all my grandparents were alive and things, I mean, you had to go to everybody's house because everybody cooked and, oh, they were all going to be offended.

You had to. So for Thanksgiving and Christmas over Thanksgiving, you really just, no, that's not true. Sometimes you did split it in between Thursday and Friday. But Christmas, you always split it between Christmas Eve and Christmas. But, I mean, you're talking six meals. between parents and grandparents. And so, you know, you, you had to go to everyone's house. So when you run into those situations where people are newly married and big families or lots of whatever, you know, it's harder sometimes. Although I think now people are very different and they still kind of take to one big gathering and it can be harder, but it's okay to gain three, four pounds. It's okay. Cause you know, if you're consistent and you were at the gym the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, you're going to be there the Friday after and it'll come back off. Good.

Well, I think it's okay. If you made it through that section about Rhonda's mom without getting emotional, I got to tell you guys, you're stronger than I am. That image of someone being a prisoner in your own body. I don't know about you, but I can't shake it. Even now, as I'm recording this, I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. And I don't think I'm supposed to shake it. I'm supposed to let it fuel my workouts, right?