Transcript: Watching Her Mom Become a Prisoner in Her Own Body | Why Rhonda Will Never Stop Moving (Part 2)

What's up, you guys? Famous Ashley Grant here,

and welcome to More Movement, Please. Welcome

back to part two of my three -part series interviewing

my amazing fitness instructor, Rhonda Goode. In

the previous episode, we talked about how Rhonda

broke the generational curse of diabetes and

obesity in her family, losing 120 pounds and

completely transforming her life. But there's

a reason she was so driven to make those changes,

and today we're going to hear about it. I'm going

to be honest with you. This episode, it gets

vulnerable. like really vulnerable. We're talking

about what it was like for Rhonda to watch her

mother spend those last two years of her life

housebound. She was unable to walk from her chair

to the car and what those final moments look

like. It's heavy stuff. And I want you to listen

to it anyway, because it's the why behind everything

that Rhonda does. We're also going to hear about

how she went from working out for herself to

becoming a fitness instructor, how she built

her fitness tribe that shows up no matter what.

and her surprisingly practical advice about holiday

eating. And spoiler alert, it's okay to gain

a few pounds at Thanksgiving, but you got to

get them off. So this is part two of our series,

and I got to warn you, it might make you emotional.

It definitely made me emotional, and it made

me think about my own family dynamics. So I want

you to grab some water, maybe a tissue or two,

and let's jump right back in to my interview

with Rhonda Good. Now, this one's kind of a vulnerable

one, and if you don't want to answer it, if it's

too personal, just tell me again. I don't want

to answer it. But in February 2025, this year,

just weeks after your mother had passed, you

wrote, her retirement years were plagued with

nothing but sickness and disease. It didn't have

to be this way. My biggest fear is her last year,

and I'll do everything I can to avoid it the

right way. How did watching your mother's health

journey shape not just your fitness goals, but

your entire philosophy about aging and what you

want your future to look like? Watching my mother,

because my father passed, he was 69 when he passed.

So it's been seven years. And then my mom's brother

passed at 65. Wow. And so she lived longer than

her family, including almost all of her cousins,

which was astonishing to me because although

they were all in equally bad health, She was,

I would have considered her the weakest of all

of them. And she lived the longest. So I didn't

really realize how just how stubborn she was

until probably the last year. And I mean, I guess

that's what kept her here. I mean, she was really,

really stubborn. And I know people, when they

age, there's a lot of personality changes and

things like that. But she was extremely stubborn.

And could not leave the house at all the last

almost two years of her life. I mean, it was

definitely a solid 18 months. It was really close

to two years. So could no longer get up from

a chair and walk to the car. So and the car was

parked not in the garage, but right at the bottom

of the steps. So she was in a small house, had

to walk through. one small room and get down

three or four steps, no matter which door she

chose to get to the car and could not do that.

And could not go down the steps to get in my

car and couldn't do it. So housebound, literally

housebound. And then also got to the point where

she could barely make it to the bathroom. So

I had to start using a porta potty inside the

house and And someone having to constantly clean

that and clean her. And it was just... And at

the end, I mean, bed sores, all the things that

come with it from setting all the time. And so

she had a lift chair that she ordered in the

last year of her life because she could no longer

physically get up. And she dislocated her shoulder

trying to clean herself after going to the bathroom.

Oh, my God. And... It was really downhill from

there, really downhill. But man, was it a long

hill slide. It was long. I mean, and I kept thinking,

how much physically worse can someone get? So

when my mother would sit in her recliner, her

stomach was so big that it would literally almost

touch the floor. And because she'd been big for

years and then had no stomach muscles at all,

I mean, that's what happens. Because when you

have no muscle tone, that's what happens. And

so... Just sitting her slumped over again, drugs

out of her mind between all of the meds she was

on for all of the ailments she had. And then

sometimes I would come in and bring her food.

And of course, I gave her whatever she wanted,

whatever she asked for. That's what I got. Because

at this point, there was who cares? I mean, and

so whatever she wanted. And there was more than

once that she was. Her sugar was so low, I couldn't

even get her awake enough to eat. Oh, wow. I

mean, she was completely, but yet not in any,

I did call one time. I did call EMS one time

because I couldn't even get her to come to herself

enough to even acknowledge me there. Wow. And

her sugar when they got there was like 54. But

other times it was just a typical, like, she

was just out of it. I mean, just sitting, prison

in your own body. Wow. And you can't do anything.

I mean, her mind was I mean, her her mind was

definitely affected at the end. Don't get me

wrong. But, you know, prior to the last little

bit, I'd say the last six months, you really

declined mentally, too. But prior to that, I

mean, it's just, you know, mentally, you're OK

to be in that age range. I mean, you're OK. But

yeah, just a prisoner in your body and a prisoner

in your home where you can't do anything. You

can't leave. You can't do anything. I mean, we

all have days where we don't want to leave our

house or we don't want to do whatever. But to

not have the choice. Oh, no, I'm out. And so

it kind of made you double down on fitness. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't even imagine. Yeah. I can't

even like because I'm watching things with my

own mom right now. And it's just it's hard. It's

really hard. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. Because

there's. Nothing that you can do. And like with

her, I mean, the time, I mean, I remember when

she was in the hospital for some ailment, probably

three years before she died, maybe four, you

know, she comes home and it's like, I want to

try to do better, you know? So I'm showing her

some exercises she can do in the chair. And,

you know, if you'll just start trying to do this,

lift your knee off the ground, lift your leg

off the ground. Lift your arms above your head.

Try to walk from here to there. Get the walker

and try to just walk from here to there. We're

talking five steps and back. Okay, okay, I'll

try, I'll try. And it would last for not even

a week. And then at a certain point, there's

nothing you can do except watch it. There's nothing

you can do. And so, yeah, I mean, whatever she

wanted. Her order of food of Christmas last year,

because I told her when I left Christmas Eve,

I said, OK, so Sonic opens at five on Christmas

Day. So because, you know, most places are closed.

So send me what you want. It was five or six

menu items. And at the end of the text, it said,

I know this is a lot. But it's what I want. And

she didn't want more than a bite or two of all

of it, you know, each thing. But it was, you

know, queso and chips and tater tots and a burger

and a milkshake and whatever. I mean, it was

just I mean, the order was like thirty seven

dollars. And when I went to the drive through,

I thought, you know, you just get whatever she

wants. Because there was no arguing with her

either. I mean, you just could not, you couldn't

reason with her. And so, and there was nothing,

there's nothing you can do. You just have to

go along. And, you know, I used to think, I have

no idea what will ever take her. Because I could

not believe the condition that her physical body

was in and that she was still breathing. Just

could not believe it. And it's always some random,

weird. most of the time thing, you know, and

what finally got her was a final UTI and an antibiotic

that absolutely sent her out of her mind. Wow.

That had to be so hard to watch. It was a rough

week. Yeah. It was a rough week. Do you feel

like it's changed you? Or that it's just made

you, like I said, just double down on fitness?

Um, no, it's changed me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do

you want to talk any more on that or do you want

to move on? Move on. Okay, let's move on. Well,

it sounds like a good time to talk about mental

health. So mental health and movement. You had

mentioned in 2020, in January 2020, that the

endorphins from exercise have a larger effect

on your mind than your body at first. You said

feel better mentally, watch depression, anxiety,

and lethargy. I can't even say that word. Minimize

and then watch your body transform slowly. Let's

talk about the mental health benefits you've

experienced. How has moving been medicine for

your mind? I think for a lot of people, you know,

I mean, especially now in today's world, I mean,

everybody's diagnosed with something, which,

and I'm not trying to minimize it, but it's literally

everywhere. And I think most people know, especially

if you're older than, say, 20, that smartphones

and social media are where we're at mentally,

period. Because no one interacts anymore with

people. People don't know how to interact with

people. They're not comfortable with it. They're

kind of lost. And so most people are just lost.

And they're in these mental jails because they

don't know how to do anything outside of the

box that's in their hand. And they don't know

how to communicate with people. They don't know

how to relate to people. And they don't get out

and do things for the most part. And if they

do, they're still on their phone the whole time.

And so at the gym, you don't, for the most part,

see people on their phones. They're there to

work out. It's a forced phone break. Now, I've

got a couple that do, especially in spin class.

I still think it's weird because to me, it's

like it's 30 minutes. Can you not give your mind

a break for 30 minutes and just work out? I mean,

whether you're thinking about nothing or bubbles

in the air or whatever. I mean, even if your

mind is blank, but just let it be blank. Yeah.

So we're afraid of that. But I think that just

working out in an environment with people that

you can choose to interact with as much as you

want or not, and then moving has such a huge

effect. And it's the whole groupthink mentality

that is both a positive and a negative, can be

a very negative thing. But at the gym, groupthink

is the best thing you can have because it'll

be those people that... encourage you or ask

you where you've been or all the things. And,

you know, and there's some that are annoying

about it. The attendance monitors. Yeah. I mean,

there are, but, and, but those are the people

that, you know, will make you accountable. And

so there's just something about being somewhere,

working out everything that is happening in your

life. And a lot of people, I mean, I tell people

like, that's why med ball slams are so fun, but.

It's like for most people, it's working out whatever

you're feeling, whether that's anger, sadness,

whatever it is. You typically can let go of it

for that amount of time during a class, usually.

I mean, and I have I mean, I've had days, especially

during sicknesses of my mother. I mean, I've

had days where I break down in class. It happens.

But, you know, I just keep going. I've had people

break down in class. I mean, it happens. But

most of the time, people can just focus on the

current present where they're at. And that's

a huge mental release for everyone. And then

when people choose to not go to the gym, I mean,

things happen. Life happens. Work happens. All

that. It tends to be that when people stop going

because of X, Y, Z, and then they don't go back

or they take an extended break, you can watch

their mental health and they will tell you that

their mental health will suffer significantly.

Because at first it was, well, no, I couldn't

go. And then I, oh, well, I'm not going. And

then, oh. And so they'll find themselves back

in the serious black hole that they started in.

So, yeah, I can definitely relate to that. And

part of the reason I chose group fitness is because

I knew that I needed other people around me and

I knew I needed other people to kick my ass if

I didn't show up. Yeah. So, yeah, it's good stuff.

It's good for the mental health. It's good therapy.

Yeah. Especially whenever you're really angry.

No, it is. It is. Yeah. Yeah. And because murder

is wrong. That's right. And those are the days

you pick up heavier weights and stuff. So, yeah.

And try not to get hurt. Yeah. Well, one thing

that appears in a lot of the posts that were

like earlier on, I haven't seen you post this

much recently, but you said in 2018, God gives

me the passion and energy to do what I do. He

protects my body every day. Does faith still

interact in your fitness journey? It does. I

mean, I think that, you know, most people call

me things like the legend and all this sort of

thing because I've been working out at the pace

I have for so many years. But, you know, everyone

has. times in their life when it's just a job.

And that's for everyone, no matter what your

job is. And this for me is definitely my passion

because of my background. And I do believe that

it's amazing that I haven't been injured, like

seriously injured because of the pace that I

go all the time. And it's as I tell people and

you, you know, that it's not as if I'm just working

out at the gym. I mean, I also walk the dog tour

three times a day and then do all the other things.

So, you know, in that regard, I mean, I did hurt

my knee one time and it was in 2018. And it,

you know, I don't know exactly what I did. I

mean, both of my knees hurt now, but that's beside

the point. But I was in a break. I had to wear

a knee brace and I probably wore it for maybe

like a week at the gym. I still, of course, did

all my classes and was like, yeah, you know,

suffer through. And I went to church Sunday and

I never asked for anyone to pray for me ever.

And I was like, I need y 'all to pray for this

knee because it really hurts. And I don't know

what's happened. And it's my job. And I was also

like, it's my job. And if I don't go to work,

I don't get paid. It's my job. So I was like,

and so, and then at the same time, because this

is just how life works. My father ended up in

hospice that week. And so I was lying on the

floor in his room with a heating pad wrapped

around my knee with a brace on it and lying on

the floor spending the night there, you know,

and then getting up and going to teach class

the next morning. You know, I was like, well,

you just got to get through it. But I do believe

that there is definitely. some protection and

that like, he knows this is my purpose and he,

he keeps me as safe as possible. And he also

tells me when I'm doing stupid things and to

back off a little bit. And I mean, I do, and

you know, and I have to, I have to nurse things

now. And, um, you know, things that used to hurt,

not very often hurt way more now, way more often.

I mean, they do. And part of it is age and part

of it is, well, teaching 25 hours of class for

the last 15 years. Um, and doing them, you know,

as we say, I do the classes, I don't just stand

there. So, um, but yeah, I think there's definitely

a little bit of a divine protection. I mean,

I'm not stupid. I mean, I don't think that I

have some magical power or anything like that,

but, and I'm very cognizant of the fact that

I just turned 50 and, um, that, you know, I don't

know how much longer I can keep up the pace I

go. Yeah. I mean, physically, I don't know. Cause

some days I'm like, yeah, cause there are some

things that, I mean, I expect my shoulders to

hurt and I expect my arms to hurt and I expect

my hips to hurt. And I mean, you know, and I

expect my knees to hurt. But then there are some

days where that knee is like, oh, and then there

are some days my lower back is like, oof, and

back scares me. I tell everybody backs scare

me. So it's the one thing that, you know, and

it's why I try to preach to people about how

they're doing squats and how they're doing things

because most of my folks are not young. So that's

why you'll do the modifications. Yeah. So. But

yeah, so. Well, do you think, do you see taking

care of your body as a spiritual practice? Well,

the Bible does tell you that the body is your

temple, is the temple of God. So, you know, and

there's a whole thing in the Bible about gluttony

too. People get real mad about that. But, you

know, if it is God's temple and it's, you've

been given it to take care of. I mean, we're

supposed to take care of ourselves spiritually,

mentally, and physically is definitely a part

of that. So I think that that's what we're supposed

to do. I mean, we're supposed to labor to eat.

We're supposed to work and to do the things that

we need to do to survive and thrive in this life.

You're going to have to be physically fit to

do it. This is true. And I have read that I pray

more in your classes than anywhere else. God,

don't let me die. God, don't let me cast out.

God, don't let me throw up. Well, one thing that

you've said a lot is I'm not for everyone. You've

acknowledged this a lot. Finger style isn't for

everyone. So you've even mentioned that some

people are scared of you and that you chase people

down after class. If you were to put it all in

a bow, what would you say is your teaching style?

Like who thrives with you? Oh, definitely people

that want to work hard and push their own limits.

You know, because I tell people all the time,

you can always do more than you think you can.

And that's just for everyone. And, but when people

are brand new, I also, you know, if I see them

pick up 10 pound weights as they're, even they're

bigs, I'm like, probably shouldn't do that. You

know, I mean, if you want to argue and you want,

okay, okay. But I'm going to tell you, you probably

shouldn't do that when you're just starting out.

So, you know, but I mean, I had two brand new

people in class last night. They seemed real

happy. I mean, they're young, you know, and I'm

like, that's why they're happy. You can't kill

them. They're young. But I think people that

want to work hard and again, people that want

consistency are the ones that stay with me because

they know I'm always going to be there and I'm

going to do my best to make them work hard. So,

yeah, those are definitely my people. Lazy people

are not my people. And people that just want

to check a box are not my people. Well, that's

why you said the first year and a half I was

working out with you, I wasn't actually working.

It didn't count. At least I got serious. Yeah.

Yeah. So and who knew that when I finally started

listening to you, the changes actually started?

Who knew that was going to happen? Well, let's

talk about success metrics. You said it's not

class numbers anymore, but rather it's people

getting stronger, getting off their meds, improving

mental health and being able to do everything

they need to do. Tell me about some of the success

stories that have meant the most to you. Well,

I mean, some of my folks like other people weren't

there when they started, so they didn't see them.

So, you know, I've watched people take off 30,

40 pounds. And if you look at them right now,

you would think. Well, gosh, they look kind of

skinny or whatever in today's society. But for

them, 30 or 40 pounds was big for their frame,

for their body and for their knees. As you know,

every pound of weight is three pounds pressure

on your knees. So in watching them get stronger

and start with small weights and grow into big

weights for them, you know, go from fives to

15 pounds. I mean, we'll push that over their

head. I mean. That's what is great because it's

not about the fact that you can do that, but

it's about the fact that when your body can do

that and you're building muscle and you're stronger,

you're just going to have a better future because

you've got muscle tone. And watching my people

that are definitely in their senior years and

they're still doing yard work and all their grocery

shopping, they're not grocery delivering. Most

of them. I mean, they're still doing the things

that you have to do to live, you know. And when

you're 80 years old or 70 years old and you can

still do everything that needs to be done around

your house, whether that's cleaning or the yard

work or going to get your own groceries. I mean,

getting up out of the chair. No problem. Those

are the things that are important. And so. And

then I've got several people that have, you know,

gotten off blood pressure meds and off diabetic

meds. And I mean, you can't ask for any better

than that. That's, you know, I mean, yeah. Being

able to tell a farmer to suck it. I mean, that's

the best thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've

said also that your tribe or fitness army shows

up consistently. You've mentioned that you've

got people that are doing two to three hours

with you in a row, even after a 12 hour shift,

and that they choose you over the new pretty

gym. What creates that level of loyalty and community?

And what role does accountability play in sustainable

fitness? Well, again, definitely because they

know I'm going to be there. And for some of the

folks that are working split shifts and switching

shifts and all that sort of thing. They just

know that I'm going to be there and they're going

to feel better if they show up. And so they do

show up no matter how tired they are, because

again, they'll still usually feel better. And

even if they're going home to sleep for the next

shift, they'll come work out because they know

that I'm going to be there. And, you know, I'll

take requests. Sometimes I'll say, what do you

want to work on or what do you want to do? And,

you know, and somebody will say something. A

lot of times nobody says anything, but I try

to build things. and workouts really to hit everything.

So I try to always incorporate things that are

going to hit the entire body. So if you're there,

you're going to get everything you can possibly

get in that time frame without having to be there

for six hours or whatever the case may be, or

use 20 different machines. Because a lot of people

are just intimidated by equipment and machines

and things like that. So I try to keep things

simple. And also when my folks can't come, I

mean, I have a few that can't come and they'll

ask me to send them workouts. And so, you know,

I'll send them workouts, but for them to do at

home or a different kind of workout with like,

based on the fact that they have bad knees or

whatever the case is. So I think it's just that,

and then the community there is no different

than the community anywhere. I mean, so when

they. spend time together of course they become

interested in each other's lives and and it starts

an accountability thing because it's like well

if you're always here and then you're not here

for three days where are you something's wrong

where are you you know that sort of thing and

it's just a check -in i mean there's and we've

had a lot of people through the years go through

some really bad stuff i mean it's life i mean

it you know and and so we try to be supportive

and do what we can when bad things happen to

people. Cause bad things do happen to people.

And so, you know, we try to build people up and

do what we can to try to help support them and

as best we can. And that's what people want.

I mean, people want, people just want, it's not

about belonging, but people just want a sense

of commonality. We're all here for the same reason.

We're all here for the same purpose because we're

all going to get old. Yeah. And if we're going

to get old and as you know, my mantra, for everyone

is no matter what age you walk in the room, there's

somebody in that room that's 15 years older than

you or older than that. And you look at them

and the shape they're in and you think about

where you're at at 25 and you see that person

at 40 or you're 40 and you see that person at

70. How do you want to live? Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

Marilyn knows I've shouted her out many times.

I'm chasing the 20 pound weight she is. Well,

I mean, you know, and she's almost 72. Yeah.

And old girl could catch her ass. I mean, and

genetics play a role. Don't get me wrong. Yeah.

But, I mean, they do. But a lot of it is you

choosing your own future. A lot of it. Well,

speaking of the future, we're coming into the

holiday weight gain season. So what do you tell

people during the holidays when they're surrounded

by all this yummy food, breaking routines and

the old, I'll start in January excuse? Well,

a lot of people, a lot of my folks, once you

stop being addicted to food, once you stop looking

at food as a crutch for everything you're feeling,

whether it's happy or sad or whatever, because,

you know, people will tell you that they eat

if they're happy, they eat if they're sad and

whatever. They eat mindlessly. But once you kind

of break that. The holidays aren't as big of

a deal. Yeah. Because you no longer go into if

you're going to parties or all the work functions.

And yes, people are dragging all this food in

and whatever. But you just look at it differently

because you no longer look at it like the cow

at the trough. You look at it like I can have

a bite of this. And what is your favorite thing?

I mean, just because people bring in things,

you know, don't eat it if you don't like it.

And then if you take a bite of it and it's not

fantastic, then you go sled behind the wall and

throw it in the trash if you need to. But don't

eat things that aren't delicious to you. I mean,

if I take a bite of something chocolate. It happened

recently. I won't. But it did. And I was like,

oh, this was not nearly as good as it looked.

Oh, no. And I thought, oh, no, I'm not eating

this. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to eat this.

So, you know, most of the time at all of these

parties and functions and things. There's very

little things that you just love. I mean, because

everybody kind of has their thing. So focus on

what you really like. Have some of that, but

don't take a bite of everything just because

it's there. Yeah. I mean, you know, you don't

have to eat it just because it's in front of

you. And you don't have to eat it because Aunt

Sue made it. Like, if you don't like Aunt Sue's

dressing, then don't eat it. Just, you know,

and if you need to come up with an excuse and

say, well, I got to watch my weight, you know,

whatever. Just don't feel a lot of people just

do that stuff because they feel obligated to.

Yeah. It's like you don't have to, you know,

partake in things that you don't like. Well,

the funny thing with me is whenever I started

all this, like it was my birthday and everybody

was like, are you even allowed to eat cake? Would

your instructor get mad at you? I'm like, what?

It's like, so, you know, you still have to be

reasonable. But if you have big families. I mean,

gosh, when I first got married and all my grandparents

were alive and things, I mean, you had to go

to everybody's house because everybody cooked

and, oh, they were all going to be offended.

You had to. So for Thanksgiving and Christmas

over Thanksgiving, you really just, no, that's

not true. Sometimes you did split it in between

Thursday and Friday. But Christmas, you always

split it between Christmas Eve and Christmas.

But, I mean, you're talking six meals. between

parents and grandparents. And so, you know, you,

you had to go to everyone's house. So when you

run into those situations where people are newly

married and big families or lots of whatever,

you know, it's harder sometimes. Although I think

now people are very different and they still

kind of take to one big gathering and it can

be harder, but it's okay to gain three, four

pounds. It's okay. Cause you know, if you're

consistent and you were at the gym the Wednesday

before Thanksgiving, you're going to be there

the Friday after and it'll come back off. Good.

Well, I think it's okay. If you made it through