Episode 80Jun 23, 2026· 5:56

Stop Commenting on People's Bodies: Rhonda Goode's Fitness Class PSA

▸ Show notes from the creator

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About this episode

Fitness coach Rhonda Goode recounts being complimented on weight loss during the period she was caregiving for her terminally ill mother and couldn't eat, including a classmate asking "where did your butt go?" She reflects on how fitness communities default to treating weight loss as positive without knowing the cause — grief, trauma, depression, anxiety — and argues that body commentary in group fitness classes is…

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Who this episode is for

This episode may resonate with you if:

You've lost weight during the worst period of your life — grief, illness, burnout — and people keep telling you how great you look, which makes you feel invisible in your pain.

You've come back to a fitness class after a long absence — something hard happened — and you're dreading the questions about where you've been.

You're someone who teaches or leads a fitness class and you've been wrestling with what to say — or not say — when you notice a student's body has changed.

You've said something well-meaning about someone's body and later realized it landed wrong, and you're trying to understand where the line is.

You're carrying something heavy right now — loss, anxiety, depression — and your body is showing it, and you feel like the fitness space you used to love no longer feels safe.

Questions this episode wrestles with

Is it ever okay to compliment someone's weight loss?

open question

Rhonda doesn't say compliments are always wrong, but she puts the assumption directly in tension by describing being told she looked great while she was unable to eat because her mother was dying — leaving the listener to sit with what that 'compliment' actually landed as.

"I couldn't eat. And so Some of the people in class were complimenting me and telling me how great I looked because I had lost so much weight."

When does a compliment about someone's body become harmful?

answered

Rhonda's experience is that it becomes harmful when you assume weight loss is a positive — because sometimes it's the result of trauma, loss, depression, or anxiety, not someone working toward their goals.

"weight loss isn't always something that... is a result of us just working on ourselves and making the right decisions and doing the right things. Sometimes it's trauma and loss and depression and anxiety and all sorts of things that it could"

How do you know when it's okay to say something about a classmate's body change?

answered

Rhonda draws the line at consistent, visible effort — when she can see someone is regularly showing up and working toward their goals, she'll point out changes to keep them motivated; the difference is knowing they're in a good place versus hitting a rough spot.

"flip side, when someone is coming to class regularly and I can see changes in their body, I try to point that out to them so that they stay motivated and continue on their journey. That is the difference when we know that people are there consistently working and are in a good place where they feel"

Should you ask a classmate why they've been absent?

answered

Rhonda says no — her position is that when someone returns after being gone, the only appropriate response is 'good to see you,' because if someone who normally shows up has been absent, it's usually not for a good reason.

"they come back. You know, our only response should just be good to see you, not... What's going on? Why haven't you been here? Things like that, because usually if people aren't there and you know that they are normally there, it's usually not for a good reason either. So I think that"

Setting expectations: This episode is not a fitness tips segment or a guide to giving better compliments at the gym. It's a short personal account from a fitness coach who was losing weight because she couldn't eat while her mother was dying — and classmates kept telling her how great she looked.

Tone & style

Rhonda starts from the assumption that fitness community members mean well when they compliment weight loss, then recounts classmates praising her body while she was caregiving for her mother and unable to eat — including one person asking 'where did your butt go?' She recognized the gap between the compliments and the grief driving the change, and knew she'd regain the weight once she could eat again. She lands on a distinction: commenting on the body of someone who's been absent is different from encouraging someone you can see is consistently showing up and working toward their goals. The PSA ends as a call for awareness, not a report that anything has changed.

Personal experience and opinion from a fitness coach. Not a research-backed framework — Rhonda explicitly says 'I will use myself as an example here' and frames her conclusions as 'I think.'

toneCandid & direct

focusRhonda uses her own experience of losing weight while grieving her dying mother to make the case that weight loss in a fitness community shouldn't be assumed to be a good thing worth commenting on.

stylepersonal_confession

energymedium_low

complexitybeginner

pressure Levellow

emotional Texturematter-of-fact, direct, quietly pointed

Notable quotes

"class were complimenting me and telling me how great I looked because I had lost so much weight. And one person in particular who just likes to comment, you know, said, where did your butt"

— Rhonda Goode

"we shouldn't assume that it's a positive or for a positive reason. So it's just be mindful that weight loss isn't always something that... is a result of us just working on ourselves and making the right decisions and doing the right things. Sometimes it's trauma and loss and depression and anxiety and all sorts of things that it could"

— Rhonda Goode

"Same thing when people are gone for a bit and they come back. You know, our only response should just be good to see you, not... What's going on? Why haven't you been here? Things like that,"

— Rhonda Goode

"bother me. But I also knew that when I started eating again, when I felt like eating, that I was going to gain weight back. And, you know, and that is okay. So I think it's important for"

— Rhonda Goode

Episode transcript

Organized into 4 chapters — open any part to read the full text.

0:001. Intro and PSA SetupAshley Grant introduces the episode as a PSA from Rhonda Goode, a returning guest known for speaking plainly.0:282. Rhonda's Personal Experience with Body CommentsRhonda shares how classmates complimented her weight loss while she was caregiving for her dying mother and unable to eat, including one person asking 'where did your butt go?' She reflects on how weight loss is often assumed to be positive when it can stem from trauma, grief, depression, or anxiety.3:283. How to Actually Respond to ClassmatesRhonda draws a distinction between commenting on someone's body when they've been absent versus encouraging someone who is consistently showing up and visibly working toward their goals.3:494. Patreon Promo and Sign-OffAshley promotes the More Movement Please Patreon with Rhonda as head coach, describing the $5 and $15 tier offerings including Q&A sessions, worksheets, and customized plans.

Open full transcript

Mentioned in this episode

personRhonda Goode

More Movement Please head coach and returning guest who shares a personal PSA about commenting on people's bodies in fitness class, drawing from her experience losing weight while caregiving for her dying mother.

personFamous Ashley Grant

Host of More Movement Please who introduces Rhonda's PSA and promotes the podcast's Patreon community.

websitefamousashleygrant.com/group

The URL Ashley directs listeners to for information about joining the More Movement Please Patreon.

productMore Movement Please Patreon

A Patreon community with free, $5, and $15 tiers where Rhonda Goode serves as head coach, offering ad-free episodes, Q&A sessions, worksheets, and customized fitness plans.

Key themes

Complimenting weight loss without knowing why it happened

Rhonda describes classmates telling her she looked great and asking 'where did your butt go?' while she was losing weight because she couldn't eat during her mother's illness and death.

Weight loss as a symptom of trauma, not achievement

Rhonda argues that weight loss isn't always the result of working on yourself — sometimes it's grief, depression, anxiety, or other hard things going on in someone's life.

The double standard around commenting on bodies

Rhonda points out that people in fitness spaces would never walk up to someone and say 'you've really put on some pounds lately,' yet they freely comment on weight loss as if it's always a compliment.

What to say when someone comes back to class after being absent

Rhonda says the only appropriate response when someone returns after being away is 'good to see you' — not asking where they've been, because the reason is usually not a good one.

When it is okay to comment on body changes

Rhonda draws a distinction: she does point out visible changes to classmates who are consistently showing up and working toward their goals, because she can see it's coming from a good place.

Fitness community awareness and responsibility

Rhonda frames the whole PSA as a call for people in fitness communities specifically to be more mindful, since they are regularly observing each other's bodies and changes.

Caregiving and the body under stress

Rhonda uses her own experience as her mother's caretaker in the months before hospice and death to ground the PSA in a real situation where her body changed involuntarily.

Assuming weight loss is positive

Rhonda specifically calls out the assumption that someone returning from an absence with a lighter body must have done something good, saying we shouldn't assume it's for a positive reason.