Episode 5May 8, 2020· 25:36

The Mental Health of Bloggers

▸ Show notes from the creator

One thing not enough people talk about is the mental health of bloggers. In this episode, I'm discussing it along with what I do to cope. More Show Notes From This Episode: What’s up my bloggy friends! I'm slowly updating the show notes for this and every episode of The Bloggy Friends Show. My new home base for all things Bloggy Friends can be found here: https://www.famousashleygrant.com/podcast/ Be sure to follow me on social: Facebook | Instagram | X | LinkedIn | TikTok | YouTube ------------------------------------------------------------------- This podcast is supported by affiliate partnerships. Please check out a few of our partners below: – Start a podcast today here: https://rss.com?via=famous – Create content from your own voice with Castmagic's Suite of AI Tools: https://get.castmagic.io/dcjy15cirnts – Want to help support our show? Buy a girl a drink perhaps? https://ko-fi.com/famousashleygrant – Need content for your podcast or blog? Check out Tools for Motivation! The links above are affiliate links. This means my podcast will receive a small commission if you order through any of them at no additional cost to you. Affiliate commissions are one of the ways my podcast makes money so that I can create episodes free of charge. If you do purchase anything from my links, I sincerely would like to thank you for your support!

Listen on Spotify Apple Podcasts RSS

About this episode

One thing not enough people talk about is the mental health of bloggers. In this episode, I'm discussing it along with what I do to cope. More Show Notes From This Episode: What’s up my bloggy friends! I'm slowly updating the show notes for this and every episode of The Bloggy Friends Show. My new home base for all things Bloggy Friends can be found here: https://www.famousashleygrant.com/podcast/ Be sure to…

Listener reactions

💡0

🤝0

🔥0

😄0

0 reactions

Share your reaction

Pick how this episode landed — then leave a public review or a private note to the host.

You

Your name will appear with your review

0/300 Visible to everyone

Sign in to leave feedback

Full transcript

00:00

One of my favorite sayings in the whole world is you can't give from an empty cup. Though I often fight it, I've been trying to remember and commit to this sentiment over the last several years because of just how true it is. After all, if we're supposed to put on our own oxygen masks first in a dangerous situation, it stands to reason that we must fill up our own cups first if we hope to have anything to give to others.

00:38

What's up you guys? Famous Ashley Grant here and I'm so excited because I'm recording this episode with my brand new Blue Yeti microphone. I have to tell you guys, I'm totally feeling like a professional podcaster. I know this is only episode number five, but... I feel like I've come a long way just since starting with that first episode. And I'm really happy that even though I've had a lot of bumps in the road that I'm still trying. One of my clients actually sent me this Blue Yeti microphone and it totally boosted my confidence. So I hope that this is the beginning of even more amazing content that I really want to put out. Today I want to talk about something that is really important to me and it's kind of hard to talk about but I feel like it's absolutely critical to talk about.

01:34

I want to talk about the mental health of bloggers and the importance of staying mentally and emotionally healthy. And I want to cover a few things related to this topic because it's really near and dear to my heart. Like this topic means a lot to me. And interestingly enough, my own mental health is why there was a gap in my podcasting releasing schedule. Even though I'm really new to the game, I had made this plan and I was so gung -ho about it. I had planned to release a new episode every single week for 10 full weeks, at least in this first season of my show. Like that was what I committed to. It's what I said, okay, I'm just going to do 10. And if it sucks, I won't do it again, but I'll do 10. And last week rolled around, and I'll tell you what, guys, I just could not bring myself to record. Like, I could not do it. Due to some personal issues, I simply made the tough decision to not even try and record.

02:29

And I now understand why so many podcasters tell people... that if they're starting their own podcast, they need to record several episodes ahead of time. They need to do it in advance because this way, if they wake up one day and they don't feel like recording or they can't record for some reason, they still have something, something, anything to release on their scheduled day. And even though I did a lot of research and I had read that little nugget of wisdom that I should record in advance from so many experts that I admire. I was still naive in believing that I could commit and just record once a week anyway. How hard can it be to record and release just a single episode each week, I thought? Well, when you're dealing with anxiety and situations beyond your control, oh yeah, and there's a pandemic going on, it can be really hard to record and release weekly. So needless to say, I will be

03:23

doing things very differently by the time season two rolls around. But I digress. Let's get back to the subject at hand, shall we? So the month of May has been designated Mental Health Awareness Month. According to Wikipedia, Mental Health Awareness Month began in the United States in 1949 by the Mental Health America organization. At the time, it was known as the National Association for Mental Health. Its purpose was to raise awareness and educate the people and the public about mental illnesses. such as depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, the whole gamut of mental disorders.

04:00

And believe it or not, nearly 20 % of Americans suffer with some sort of mental health issue. And the realities of living with these conditions, they can be really stressful for people, especially since there's such a stigma associated with mental health. And the goal of the Mental Health Awareness Month was also to draw attention to suicide, which can be precipitated by some mental illnesses. And I don't know how many out there know this, but my father, he committed suicide in December 2016, just two days after Christmas. I don't tell you this because I want pity. I tell you this so you can understand why taking care of our mental health is so incredibly important to me. My dad, he struggled with mental health problems all of his life. And many of the issues that plagued him, I honestly see in myself. Witnessing his struggles led me to leaving home as early as I could and committing to trying to be as

05:05

positive as possible for all of my life. Despite everything that my dad displayed, witnessing him, watching him, watching what he was going through, I was hell -bent on doing everything that I could to be more positive than my father. And in the days after his passing, I doubled down on that commitment to try and be more positive and always look for the light in life. I often will tell people, you know, don't focus on the darkness, look for the light. And the truth is.

05:33

I know how easy it can be to sink into that darkness, you can fall down this rabbit hole of negativity. And before you know it, it can just turn into this downward spiral. And it hurts y 'all like whenever you go down that spiral, it is so easy to kind of understand how hard it is to come back out of it. And I gotta tell you. Being a stay at home blogger, it can be damn lonely. And in fact, that loneliness and the solitude from the outside world sitting at my computer away from everyone. It can really trigger many of my mental health woes. I mean, maybe you can relate. Several of my bloggy friends, they've told me that they too, they struggle with mental health issues. And interestingly enough, I've heard it said that creative people, they fight the most with inner demons. And you probably know who these inner demons are. Depression, anxiety, feelings of low self -worth, lack of confidence. The list really goes on. But what

06:34

can we do about it? Because we can do something about it. For some people, they need just a therapist. Some will need medication. Some will need a mixture of both or some natural health remedies. And I mean, I'll give you my disclaimer right now. I'm not a mental health professional. I don't pretend to be. I would never claim to be. But what I want to do today is just kind of tell you the things that I'm doing to try to improve my own mental state. and maybe they can help you too. So first I'm going to start out with telling you what I do when I'm feeling lonely because like I said being a blogger staying at home it's really lonely. So when I'm lonely I go out and I find friends and I know that's not going to be as easy as going to the store to buy eggs but when you put in some effort you really can find like -minded people to chat with.

07:24

The first place that I usually look when I'm looking for new bloggy friends is Facebook. Now, I know that might sound kind of silly, but there are literally thousands of Facebook groups for virtually any hobby or interest you can think of. For example, I love to craft, so I joined some crafting groups. I love blogging, so I'm in several blogging groups. I love cooking. Okay, you get the idea. Anything that I'm interested in, anything that I'm interested in, I probably am part of a group. And what I've found in these groups is that there are several people in them who just want someone to talk to that has a like -minded mindset as them as well. So maybe if you are interested in cars or, you know, cross training or some other... interest, you could find someone on Facebook who's part of a group or has created a group that is about that. And if you can't find it, create your own because there are probably other people just like you

08:20

who want to connect and jam on all these things, but they don't know where to go to do it. So definitely check out Facebook groups if you're feeling lonely and want to talk to someone about something that you like. Another place that I look for bloggy friends is networking events and conferences. Now, I'll be the first to admit this was so much easier before coronavirus. And I really hope that we get back to having live events soon because I have met some of my favorite people in the whole world at live events. The trick with these is to have some questions prepared ahead of time so you can engage with people.

08:56

This is especially important if you're an introvert. Now, I'm what's been referred to as an extroverted introvert where I love to be around people. I really shine when I'm around them, but I can only take so much of it before I have to go. back into my cave and recharge. But so if you can have some questions prepared ahead of time to just kind of know what you want to talk about, or if you can even find out who's going to be at the conference that you know you want to talk to and see if you can find out something about them. I would definitely do that just so that you can actually have something to discuss without just standing there like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to say. And I've also learned the hard way. Don't try to show off. Like asking more about them than talking about yourself is the better way to go about meeting new people.

09:39

So I would definitely make sure that if you do start engaging with someone, let them have the show until they, you know, ask you a question. The final place that I like to look for new bloggy friends, and by the way, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but what I consider a bloggy friend is anybody who's friends with a blogger, and I want as many bloggy friends as I can get. So that's how I feel about the whole bloggy friend thing. So finally, I look in my own backyard to find bloggy friends. During the stay -at -home orders of COVID -19, I found solace in our neighborhood's dog park. I found a few women with adorable little dogs, and I started looking forward to bringing my mutts down to play with them every day. And it gets me away from home, it gets me into nature, and the conversations that ensue are always enjoyable. And in a pinch, if I'm feeling really lonely and I can't go out,

10:29

I can't get to the dog park, whatever, I'll call family members or friends on the phone just to chat about everything and nothing. Basically, when you're feeling lonely, you just need to do something to find some way to interact with people. For example, last Friday, I was feeling kind of lonely, but I was so excited because a friend of mine had set up a virtual happy hour. And I'd never done anything like that before.

10:51

So it was really cool to just kind of hang out on the computer, talking to some friends. And by the end of it, I honestly felt like I had been out. for a night out with the girls. It was fantastic. So if you can't get out to see people, try a virtual happy hour because it's super fun. Okay, next. So that's what I do when I'm feeling lonely. But now I want to talk about what I do when I'm feeling anxious because I have really bad anxiety sometimes, you guys, like to the point where if it's left unchecked, I will have a full blown panic attack and be pretty much useless for several hours, if not the entire day. In fact, just a couple of days ago, I had a panic attack that was so bad that I had to go to bed and I like passed out for six hours. And I was right in the middle of working on a really important article. I was on deadline.

11:38

And the second I hit submit, the panic attack ensued, and out I went. So with that in mind, here's what I do when I'm feeling anxious. Lately, I've been obsessed with two main things that helped me get through it. The first is guided meditations. I absolutely love them. Guided meditations are just awesome. They let you just completely get away from the world for a little bit. And oftentimes, whenever I come out of them, I feel like I've been napping because I just wake up or not wake up. I come out of the meditation more refreshed and relaxed. And my favorite app for finding amazing guided meditations is Insight Timer. But I've also found some pretty good ones on YouTube. And the reason I use guided meditations in lieu of just trying to meditate on my own is that I really have trouble with my mind wandering.

12:27

And the guided meditations, they make it easier for me to focus on just relaxing and letting the world go. When I can't get access to a guided meditation for whatever reason, though, I'll sit silently and I just repeat the word release over and over again to myself. Release, release, release. I repeat it over and over. for as long as it takes to calm down my anxiety. Now that may sound silly, but it was a trick I picked up. I think it was from Brynden Burchard a couple of years ago. And in a pinch, when I don't have access to anything else, it's really helpful to me, especially if I'm just arriving at an event and I'm feeling a little bit anxious about it. I'll just sit in my car before I go in and I'll just sit there saying release. release, release. And I just let myself release any of the tension that I'm feeling, any of the, any of the anxiety that's bubbling up. My other favorite thing to do that I do frequently is what I call

13:23

my word vomit sessions. I open up a Google document in Chrome and I turn on the voice typing feature and I literally just start talking and word vomiting all over the page about everything that's going on in my head. I don't set a timer. But some of my bloggy friends have actually recommended that I start doing that. But what I'll do is I'll just sit there and I talk about everything that's in my head at the moment, everything I'm thinking. I don't censor myself. I don't try to figure out what I'm thinking. I don't try to have any rhyme or reason. I literally just say everything that comes to mind. And I'll be honest with you, within just like the first few sentences or words, I already start feeling better in most cases. Other times I'll have to sit there for a while and just keep word vomiting until everything is released from my brain. And yes, I recognize how funny the phrase word vomit sounds.

14:14

Occasionally after I'm done, I'll reread what I've written because in these word vomit sessions, the truth is good ideas for my business or blog posts that I have to write end up on the page. However, more often than not, What I do instead is I'll release it all, release everything in my head, and I won't read it again. I do keep the document on my computer and I have dated in each entry because who knows, maybe one day I'll go back and read it all and I'll either see how far I've come or maybe it'll make good material for my memoirs. But then again, now that I'm thinking about it, it might just sound like the ramblings of a person who doesn't have all their crayons in the box. I'm not sure. So other things that I do when I'm feeling anxious.

15:03

Meditation and word vomiting really are my favorite things to do. But other than that, the things I do include but aren't limited to going on long walks, I call it pounding pavement. I know that might sound silly to you, but when I am incredibly anxious and I can't stop fidgeting, sometimes I just put my sneakers on and I walk until it hurts. I sometimes won't even bring my dogs. I just walk outside and I try to focus on only the scenery around me and I let go of everything else. I let the world fall away and I just focus on what I'm looking at. I make a real point to look at every single thing that I'm seeing on the walk and think about what that is so that whatever is making me anxious is not. my focus another thing I'll sometimes do is I'll just take a long shower and I'm talking the kind where you literally just stand in the water and you don't even actually soap up have you ever done

15:55

that where you just stand in the water and you don't put any shampoo in your hair you don't put any soap on your rag you just you just stand there and you let the hot water just flow something about that really soothes me and I would take more baths but to be honest with you our bathtub is small and because of that it doesn't give me the feeling I want but I'll just stand there in the shower and let all the feelings just go down the drain. All right. The other thing, another thing I do is I love to cook, so I'll cook, but I hate doing dishes. So I will wait until the kitchen is completely spotless or I'll have my husband help me to clean up because when I'm feeling anxious, I have been known to make the most incredibly elaborate meals just to have something to keep my mind completely busy and off of whatever's making me anxious. Another thing I'll do is crafts. I love working with my hands and creating something from nothing.

16:51

Lately, I've been really obsessed with Dollar Tree craft groups that I found on Facebook. The members, they come up with some of the most creative crafts I've ever seen in my life, and they mainly use products from the dollar store to make them. I'll link to these groups that I'm talking about in the show notes. Speaking of, you can visit bloggyfriends .com backslash episode five to get access to all of these tips and the things that I'm discussing in this episode. Another thing I'll do when I'm feeling anxious is I'll take a nap. And I know this isn't possible for everyone, especially if you have to work a traditional 9 -to -5. You can't exactly say, hey boss, I'm going to take a break because I'm going to take a nap. But when I'm so anxious that nothing else helps, I have to go take a nap. And I recently found a great trick for falling asleep quickly, and I'll link to that in the show notes as well.

17:37

I strongly recommend checking it out if you have trouble sleeping without over -the -counter substances like I do. All right, so that covers everything I do when I'm feeling anxious. Now I want to talk about what I do when I'm feeling sad. One of the first things I do when I'm feeling sad is I pray. Whatever you believe in doesn't matter. But for me, praying helps me a lot. And I often will begin by saying something simple like spirits show me another way or spirits help me transform this sadness into love. Because the truth is oftentimes When I'm feeling sad, there is actually a feeling of just being unloved under the surface.

18:14

And when this happens, I'll just pray to feel the love that I know deep down is already in my life. I'll remind myself that my husband loves me, my family and friends love me, my dogs and so on and so on. Other times I just have to love myself and tell myself that it's safe for me to feel loved. It's safe for me to be happy. One thing that helps me when the sadness is just completely unwavering is to search for comedy videos or memes and photos and even clips on TikTok. I keep a file on my computer called my smile file, and it's filled with silly images that just make me laugh. And when I'm in a rut, I've been known to just open it up and go through the images and laugh until I cry. Speaking of crying. Sometimes when I'm feeling sad, I just give myself permission to actually be sad and cry it all out. I'll go into my bedroom with a box of tissues and simply cry until I have no more tears left to give. It's often really

19:10

cathartic. And the thing is, while I'm doing it, I do my best to not let myself wander to more things to be sad about. Because like I told you earlier, I know how hard it is to go into a downward spiral. And it's so much harder to come back once you go down that rabbit hole. Many of the things I do when I'm anxious, I also do when I'm sad. And another thing that helps me with both of these emotions is called the emotional freedom technique or EFT. It's also commonly referred to as tapping. Now, I kind of suck whenever it comes to explaining how EFT works. So I'll just link to some stuff in the show notes. But the Reader's Digest version of tapping is that when you tap on certain pressure points, you can relieve stress, anxiety, sadness, etc. I first learned about EFT or tapping from Denise Duffield Thomas, and she is incredible about transforming one's thoughts about money.

20:03

I'm sure she'll come up on this show again because her trainings around money have really helped me as a blogger to not be so afraid of making a living doing what I love. One of the best resources I found for tapping is the videos by Brad Yates on YouTube. Brad has some of the most incredible videos on tapping. His videos cover everything from anxiety to debt to unemployment to mending a broken heart, and I highly recommend checking out his YouTube channel. Before I go any further, you might be wondering, what in the world does mental health have to do with blogging? Now, if you're like me, when you aren't in a good headspace, you simply can't be creative. Work becomes difficult. Everything just feels like you're trying to run through mud. Like any job, it's really hard to be productive when your mental health is suffering. And though buzzwords like self -care only became the popular thing to discuss

20:57

in what feels like just the last five years or so, it's really important that we do take care of ourselves. One of my favorite sayings in the whole world is you can't give from an empty cup. Though I often fight it, I've been trying to remember and commit to this sentiment over the last several years because of just how true it is. After all, if we're supposed to put on our own oxygen masks first in a dangerous situation, it stands to reason that we must fill up our own cups first if we hope to have anything to give to others. Now, I'll be the first to tell you it's taken me a long time to realize that minding my mental health is not selfish. It's about making sure there's enough of me to give to myself and to others. It's about making sure that I'll be here when people need me. To wrap up this episode, I want to share just a few more things that I seriously recommend to help you with your own mental health journey. Some of

21:53

these things I can honestly tell you I still struggle with, but hey, I'm a work in progress. The first is to get enough sleep. As adults, we should be aiming for between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. And I will tell you that this has been a serious struggle for me, especially in recent months. I've actually been sleeping in what I consider a broken pattern where I'll sleep for a few hours, then I'll work, and then I pass out again. I'm working on this one, y'all, but it's hard. Second, be mindful of what you put in your body. And I am horrible at this one. But what we eat has been proven to have a direct effect on our minds and our hearts.

22:31

We need to be eating healthy, well -balanced diets to perform at our best and to feel our best. Third, and this is a huge one, especially for me, is to seek counseling. I hate the fact that for so many people, therapy is still such a taboo subject. I'm proud to share that I have consulted with and sought the help from multiple counselors and therapists. We don't make a big deal out of going and getting a physical with our primary care physicians. Why do we make such a big deal out of seeing a therapist or a counselor?

23:04

We shouldn't. I can honestly tell you without a doubt I would be in a much darker place today had it not been for some of the amazing mental health professionals that I've spoken with over the years. And there are resources if you can't afford one. When my dad passed away of suicide, I couldn't work for several months. And this meant that income did not exist during that time. Here where I live, a nonprofit provided me with free counseling to get me back on my feet. They even helped me handle the financial blows that I was dealt with as a result of being out of work. If you take nothing else from this episode, please take this. I want you to take care of your mental health. Seek help and guidance when you need it. And don't be ashamed if you need more help than others. There's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't make you broken. You are not alone. I'd rather everyone go to a therapist

23:57

and get help with their mental health problems than open up Facebook to find out another family member, another friend. or just an acquaintance has taken their own life because they can't cope. It may sound cliche, but the world really does need you. You are loved. I love you. And I want to see you succeed and thrive. I know this episode was kind of heavy, especially compared with the other episodes that I've released so far, but I really hope it was helpful. It was meant to be inspiring and to break away from the stigma that so many people feel about discussing mental health. I will be the first to tell you that I know I personally struggle with mental health issues and I will never shy away from seeking help for those issues. I don't want you to shy away from seeking help either. We all deserve to be here. We're all here for a reason. We all have a mission and a purpose, but to fill, to

24:54

fulfill that mission, to fulfill the reason we're here, we have to take care of ourselves first. All right. That's all I have for now, my bloggy friends. Until next time, may your page views be high and your bounce rate be low. And don't forget to grab the show notes at bloggyfriends.com backslash episode five. Thank you so much for listening and I'll catch you guys next time.