Episode 0Sep 15, 2026· 18:25

What I Learned About My Own Relationships From a Psychic Medium

▸ Show notes from the creator

For the first time on this podcast, you're going to hear a voice other than mine. In this episode, I share two clips from a reading with a psychic medium that challenged me to think differently about my own relationships. Whether you believe in mediums or not, it doesn't matter. It's the perspective she gave me that has stuck with me and helped me see some of my relationship patterns more clearly. Send me Fan Mail! Email CT: [email protected] Connect on social (Instagram/TikTok): @TheMindfulSPX Check out the website: TheMindfulSPX.com

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About this episode

For the first time on this podcast, you're going to hear a voice other than mine. In this episode, I share two clips from a reading with a psychic medium that challenged me to think differently about my own relationships. Whether you believe in mediums or not, it doesn't matter. It's the perspective she gave me that has stuck with me and helped me see some of my relationship patterns more clearly. Send me Fan…

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Full transcript

00:03

Speaker 1Welcome back or welcome to the Securely You podcast. My name is CT, and I'll help you understand why you love the way you do. Up until this point, 30 or so episodes in, the only voice you've heard on this podcast is my own. But that is going to change with today's episode. I do not have a guest necessarily in the in the sense of doing an interview, but I do have something unique and different that I'd like to share with you today.

00:36

A few months ago, I was feeling a bit lost with life in general, not necessarily relationships, but just uh kind of holistically, I felt stuck and stagnant in different ways. And I uh did a psychic medium reading with Valerie Lewis, a good friend of mine. I went into it with just like, hey, let's talk career. She had brought up, we kind of had worked through what we needed to work through, and we had about 10-15 minutes left.

01:12

And I brought up like, let's just why don't we talk about relationships? Whenever I do readings all the time, and whenever I do them, I always kind of go to career and relationships. Just like the two uh two main things that I want to uh hear about, get guidance on, uh, and just more clarity on, move through life with more clarity around those topics. So that's just kind of where my mind usually goes. So because we had a couple minutes left, I was just like, hey, why don't you just let's go relationships?

01:41

She was like, Oh, that's funny because I kept getting that coming into the reading, kept getting pinged about love or relationships, and she didn't really understand why, because like I just said, uh, we I was going into it with more of the career aspect. We dive into the relationship stuff, and there was a couple uh pieces to that conversation that have stuck with me, and I would like to play those sound bites for you, and then I will give you my thoughts and feedback around them.

02:12

It's been a couple months since I had this reading, and I just re-relistened to it, and it really it even spoke to me, I think, more clearly and and I guess strongly, more strongly, than uh than it even it did at the time. And I'm not I I don't it doesn't matter if you believe in mediums or you don't. I'm not here to to make you believe. I I don't that doesn't matter to me. I I simply enjoy getting readings because it brings a different perspective to me.

02:44

So I might be a little narrow-minded on a certain topic or like laser focused on a certain thing over here or over there. Being able to have that kind of impartial, uh unbiased view of things helps me to kind of see the full picture. A lot of times it might be like something really minuscule that they that they say that like in the in the moment of the reading, it doesn't really resonate. It doesn't, you know, just it kind of like goes in one ear out the other.

03:11

Then you re-listen and uh it can speak volumes and really kind of help you through certain situations. So it's two clips that I am going to play. I'll do the first one here, and uh, I'll give some thoughts and feedback on the other side, and then we'll go into the next one.

03:33

SpeakerAnd so this is kind of the letting go of what I thought a relationship was yesterday, and continually asking myself, what do I need right now today when it comes to relationships? And it's cups, so it's emotions. Oh, oh, oh, I love this card so much. I just turned this one over, and the second card I got was the full card. It's trust, it's carefree, it's jumping, it's taking a leap. You do not ooh, spirit told me you do not do that when it comes to relationships.

03:58

Um, when it comes to relationships, there's a lot of thinking about shinking about are our careers compatible? Or is does this person look the way I want them to look? Do they have the family structure I want them to have? There's a lot of thinking and there's not a lot of trust. Based on your past, it makes sense that you would approach a relationship that way. The thing that made sense for you in the past, based on whatever, no longer applies.

04:35

So they're not saying go into a relationship all carefree and don't think about sh. They're saying you are at a position where you can trust that the people that are being brought to you as possible mates don't need the overthinking and the careful planning that it used to need. Because when you used to need that, you weren't as sure about yourself and you weren't as sure about relationships. And so you needed to go through all of those machinations.

05:05

They're like, you are a different person. You don't need all of you training wheels. You can trust now, because of the work that you have done on yourself, that you are now a magnet to more appropriate matches. So when one shows up, you can more freely trust. I don't have to put all these safeguards in place because I'm a person who knows how to attract a like-minded individual. Will you still get some duds? Absolutely, we're human.

05:34

Speaker 1This is actually one of the things that I meant when I said in real time, it may not have resonated as much or felt like it had that much of an impact. But listening back on him, reflecting on it, I feel like there is actually a lot of gold in those few minutes there. When I think back to growing up, when I think back to I'm in middle school, high school, whatever it is, I grew up in a very traditional household. And so I think that what that ended up doing in maybe a slightly negative way was painting a picture in my mind of what it's supposed to be, like that their relationship is supposed to be just like this, or it's supposed to look this certain way.

06:26

Uh I I've even had uh uh situations in the recent past where what family members uh think you know that future partner should be like, look like, uh do for a living, whatever it is, uh kind of projected onto me. And I am very open. Like I I actually I was just posting on Reddit the other day, but like I it doesn't matter to me what somebody does for a living. Like you can you can make sixty thousand, you can make 160,000, you can do X or you can do Y.

07:01

I I don't I don't really I don't care. Like it's it's the connection between the two people that that matters to me, but but more importantly, I can't and and like aside from even like the monetary or or income, financial gain or whatever, I want my future person to absolutely love what they do for work. Uh because because that positivity, that excitement, that enthusiasm is gonna ooze into every facet of their lives, including our relationship.

07:37

And so if I'm really upbeaten, excited, and enthusiastic about whatever it is in the world that I'm doing, and they are the opposite, that's gonna drag me down, and it's going to it's gonna end up creating friction within that relationship. Whereas if we again, it doesn't matter. I I don't care how much they make, like the financial, like it does, it freaking does not matter. But having, I guess maybe because it's an outlook, so like having I have a pretty optimistic and positive outlook on life and work and the afterlife or what I just life in general, being able to meet somebody in that way is extremely important to me.

08:24

And all the other things are just kind of details to the bigger umbrella that you know we have the same life goal, life vision. Boom, okay, let's do this thing, and all the other things will work itself out. Or if I go back to the traditional family sense, I'm very open to something like tattoos. Okay, there's nobody in my family that has tattoos. I don't know if there's anybody in my extended family, cousins and all that that have tattoos.

08:51

It's just like not something that that we've typically done. But over the last year or so, that's something that actually I find quite attractive. And I don't know if I'd ever get a tattoo myself. I always say like I can't think of something that would be that I would want on my body forever. But I love the aesthetic and the the look of it when I think back and then kind of how my life was evolved. There's like a lot that's been projected onto what it's supposed to look like, feel like, all of those things where I'm kind of come at it from the other side and just like it it doesn't uh the the like maybe maybe I put it this way the things that matter to them don't necessarily matter to me and vice versa.

09:35

And so it's just it's just a differing of priorities and all of that. And so that's a very long-winded way-winded way of me saying when I reflect back on what Valerie said. I think that in my past there was a lot of overanalyzing. So I've always obviously I have this podcast of like human psychology, why we do this and what we do, and love and relationships, connection, all those things that I do remember in my past, like being very into personality types, uh, the tests and all that stuff, the love languages and all those different things.

10:15

I think they are important aspects to to a connection. You want to make sure like you're you're aligned in certain ways. I and then you extrapolate it out to like astrology and all these other things. Like, I love I love all that stuff. But I've kind of had this thought come over me where the next relationship that I get into or the potential I see for a relationship with somebody, there's part of me that I don't actually want to know any of that stuff for like months.

10:41

Like I just want us to create the relationship and the connection and let that all evolve naturally. Don't put any of the I don't want to say guardrails, but that's the only word that's coming to me, like around it because they're this personality type or that personality type, or like this may work or may not work because of X, Y, or Z. It's like literally like a clean slate, just like go into it very naturally, very open-minded, and let it unfold how it's supposed to unfold.

11:09

That's that's how I how I would summarize that and think through that. Um, and that was really helpful to reflect back on the last couple days.

11:22

SpeakerThe lesson, this is them. The lesson they wanted you to learn is to understand when it is okay to walk away. That's it. So they gave you a situation where they were like, oh, we know this is not gonna, we know he's gonna need to walk away. But but let's all place bets on how long it's gonna take him to recognize that and when is he gonna break up with her? Like that's that's it. That's the lesson you were supposed to learn from that.

11:44

I mean, there were other lessons too, but that's the main, that's the main thing is you being able, and that's that goes back to you being able to trust yourself, you being able to say, This is good for me, this isn't good for me, and if this isn't good for me, I choose me.

12:00

Speaker 1If that doesn't hit the nail on the head, I'm not sure what does or what would, because uh during the connection that she's speaking about there, there was multiple times that I questioned like the physical connection, the intellectual connection, what I what I thought was an emotional connection, all those things were extremely heightened, and that really pulled me in. But then what we voiced that we uh desired in the connection and type of relationship that that we want was so opposite, was so extremely polar opposite that I was like fighting internally because I'm going like, okay, I feel this cool connection, I want to keep exploring this, but yet that's it's so confusing because what we want is so different.

13:07

And so hearing that kind of analysis, that kind of that point there, that it was really just a test to see when I was ready to rock away. We're like, like basically how how much of that could I handle before I'm like, hey, this doesn't work. And yes, I wish that it maybe ended in a different way and that we both received closure in the way that we needed it. But I also think we may just be a little bit different communication-wise.

13:50

And so kind of just at odds in that that way. It's kind of like what I have talked about in the past, where it just doesn't all the sparks and initial attraction and excitement, the butterflies, the rainbows, the unicorns, it doesn't matter unless that person like that that doesn't predict the sustainability of the connection, because they have to be willing to you have to be able to meet each other and have you know that reciprocal nature to make it uh sustainable in my mind.

14:31

So like all of those initial things don't really matter if they can't sustain it. Um this really sticks out to me because since this connection ended, that I've really thought long and hard about that. Uh that I typically when I feel something, I feel very strongly. But just because I feel that doesn't mean that that the other person feels that. And so then it goes back to being able to watch the kind of watch that connection real time.

15:02

Like, do they match your energy? Do they do they meet you with that same enthusiasm? Do they want to go on dates as much as you do? Like, do you want to continue creating, cultivating that connection together, or is one person initiating, continually initiating, essentially holding uh being the glue to that and carrying that can, you know, that entire container of the relationship, and the other one's just kind of there for the ride, enjoying it, um, and not really putting in the same effort.

15:37

That's just something that I've thought about more uh as time has gone on. And it's something like truly that I will carry with me in every and like this literally does not matter uh romantically or or not. It could be socially uh work-related romantically and all the above. Um, in all in all in every scenario, is I I will not I guess there's two things. I I will not uh overgive. Like I just I will not do that anymore.

16:04

Like I will not overcompensate that hey, this is me, this is who I am, this is what I'm looking for. Either you like you're at you're on the train and we're we're going in the same place, or we're not. Like either you you want it or you don't. And then I don't mean that as like I go on a first date and we're either at 150 miles an hour or zero and there's no in between. I don't mean it's like a snap judgment thing. I just mean that I can't continually pull into a connection without receiving the same thing back.

16:34

And I'll just give you a quick story here with uh a friend socially, uh, him and I met for a dinner. And uh that that was all great, and it seemed like, hey, we'll hang out again at some point or whatever. I've never heard from that person again. And in the past, that that's no that's no shame or judgment or or uh or anything on him. I'm I'm not upset about that. I'm just explaining to you the situation because in the past I would have been the one to carry that forward then.

17:03

Hey, hey, when are we gonna meet up again? Or hey, you want to do this, you want to go there, you want to do that. And like now I'm like, no, no, no. Then I can again, mutual reciprocation. I need to be met in the same way. Like, if you want to meet up, I would love to meet up. But like I'm not going to initiate everything, I'm not gonna carry everything. Uh just because I want that connection to continue, I need you to show me that you're invested in that just as much as I am.

17:32

And and that's a good to me, that's a that's a good example for dating as well. It really doesn't so you know, somebody you're meeting as a friend or romantic partner, it's still both people need to be, you know, putting in the same the same effort. I hope that was insightful, helpful, and you enjoyed a little bit new kind of episode. If you want to get a uh reading with Valerie, you can go to her website, valerielewis.com.

18:00

Uh she's not promoting this episode, but hey, Valerie, if you want to put a lot of the podcast, uh you want to be the sponsor, let me know. But I highly recommend her work, enjoy her energy and her insights, and I know you would too. Until next time, thank you for being here. Take care, we'll talk soon.