Episode 0Jun 10, 2026· 12:04

Rethinking Modern Dating Through the Lens of MBTI

▸ Show notes from the creator

Modern dating feels broken for so many people right now. It's like a game you never wanted to play but somehow found yourself in anyway. After attending multiple speed dating events recently and reflecting on my own experiences, I started wondering: what if we approached dating through the lens of personality type instead? In this episode, I share my frustrations with today's dating culture, provide a brief overview of MBTI (Myers–Briggs Type Indicator), and explore how understanding personality differences could fundamentally change the way we approach dating, compatibility, and connection. Maybe the goal isn't finding more matches...it's about finding the right ones. Curious to find out your personality type? Take the free test at 16personalities.com. Send us Fan Mail Email CT: [email protected] Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com

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About this episode

CT Kaupp reflects on modern dating feeling broken across formats — apps, speed dating events — arguing the real issue is mismatched mindsets, not the venue. He recounts a speed dating experience with back-to-back empty slots and a conversation with a recently divorced man just happy to be talking to people. He then introduces the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), explaining the four dimensions (E/I, S/N, T/F, J/P)…

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Who this episode is for

This episode may resonate with you if:

You've been going on dates — apps, speed dating, whatever — and something feels off, but you can't quite name what's broken about the whole thing.

You've done the MBTI test and felt weirdly seen by it — like it described something about you that you'd never been able to put into words — and now you're wondering if it could explain your relationship patterns too.

You've always been able to talk to almost anyone, but you've never really had one tight friend group, and it quietly makes you feel like you're on the outside of something everyone else seems to have.

You're newly back in the dating world after something big ended — a relationship, a marriage — and you're still figuring out what you're even looking for, let alone how to find it.

You're curious whether astrology-style compatibility frameworks — signs, types, patterns — actually map onto who you click with in real life, and you want someone to think through that out loud with you.

Questions this episode wrestles with

Is dating broken because of the apps, or because of how people approach them?

answered

CT's view is that the container — whether apps, speed dating, or in-person events — isn't the problem; the problem is that people arrive with mismatched intentions and mindsets.

"completely different mindset around what they're looking for"

Why does speed dating feel pointless even when you show up?

answered

CT shares from his own experience attending multiple speed dating events that they all feel essentially the same — 'five minutes to eight minutes with each person' — and the format can't compensate for people not coming in with the right mindset.

"matter the container, the box that we're creating"

Is using MBTI to filter dates any more useful than using star signs?

open question

CT draws the parallel himself without resolving it — he notes MBTI feels 'very similar to astrology' in how it maps compatibility, but doesn't argue that one is more valid than the other.

"there's certain matches, certain types that are going"

What does it mean when a personality type description feels uncomfortably accurate?

answered

CT describes it as feeling 'very seen' — like things you thought were just your private experience or a source of loneliness turn out to be shared traits of your type.

"you're gonna feel very seen. You're gonna go,"

Does knowing your MBTI type actually change how you relate to people?

open question

CT reflects on his INFJ experience of always feeling on the outside — able to talk to everyone but never having a main friend group — and says knowing the type feels 'validating,' but he doesn't resolve whether that knowledge changes how he actually connects with people.

"know that you're not alone in whatever type"

Setting expectations: This episode is not a guide to MBTI compatibility charts or a breakdown of which types should date which — it doesn't go deep into the framework or cover all 16 types. It's CT thinking out loud about whether personality typing could be a better starting point for dating than what he's currently experiencing at local speed dating events.

Tone & style

CT starts from the conviction that dating is completely broken regardless of format, gets nudged by a recently divorced guy at a speed dating event who was just happy to be talking to people, and realizes in reflection that everyone walks into these situations with a totally different idea of what they want. He then floats MBTI as a possible shared framework — but leaves it as an open question rather than a conclusion.

Personal opinion and lived experience. CT is not an MBTI expert — he's thinking out loud from his own dating life and self-knowledge.

toneCasual & musing

focusCT muses on why dating feels broken and floats MBTI personality typing as a potentially better lens for compatibility than whatever we're currently doing.

stylesolo_monologue

energymedium_low

complexitybeginner

pressure Levellow

emotional Textureconversational, mildly vulnerable, speculative

Notable quotes

"feel like dating is completely broken right now."

— CT Kaupp

"completely different mindset around what they're looking for"

— CT Kaupp

"feel like I'm the most non-judgmental person ever,"

— CT Kaupp

"talk to everyone, yet I don't really have"

— CT Kaupp

"know that you're not alone in whatever type"

— CT Kaupp

Episode transcript

4 chapters — tap to expand the full text

CT opens by saying dating feels 'completely broken' and recounts attending local speed dating events, including getting two back-to-back empty slots and chatting with a recently divorced guy who was just happy to be talking to people.